MYNIPPON

Paula writes, “I met a man on the Internet, he was so sweet from the beginning and as you said in your article about virtual boyfriends, guys like to put the ex-wives as bad girls to make us feel bad for them and give them something to make them happy.  This was my case too when he told me about his wife cheating on him and that he suffered a lot. I felt like I had to protect him from pain and making him believe in second chances. We both developed a big connection with each other and shared many likes. I was so perfect for him that at the same time it sounded, seemed unreal for him.  After being in touch for months we decided to meet but he got cold feet and stopped contacting me. He told me once he was not ready to go beyond friendship. Since I was inexperienced with this kind of guys, I was not aware in what I was getting into until it was too late. I fell in love and he knew it. He accepted my words and always answered me on my smart phone. This has been almost two years now with sour and good moments but I have to accept he is insecure and does not want to open a new book in his life. He says that it is better to leave a love unfulfilled than to suffer again. He added that there is a void that he has trouble opening himself to true love with a woman. No matter what I tell him about my feelings, he says that he is glad we are friends. I always wonder why he is still interested in only friendship when a girl just told him that she has feelings for him. I have always heard that guys just do not answer any text or have any contact when they are not interested in a girl; he is the opposite of that — he stays in touch but does not want anything meaningful. My question is to know if a guy who was married for almost 18 years, divorced almost 5 years ago, going to change the way he thinks now and open up to true love again or is this just a waste of time for me? Will he ever change? I need help to figure this out. I do not know if to continue, keeping faith that he will change or just give up.”

Men lie online to flirt with girls

After reading the background of your story, my answer to your question is that this man is probably not single. Like the case in the article I wrote, you are probably not his only girlfriend and that is why he is not interested in anything beyond an online friendship.

Assuming that I am right about him, this man maybe a perfect liar. In other words, I would not trust anything that he says, all the way from his being married before or being divorced. For all I know he could still be married and his wife may have never cheated. Such men know how to put a sad story together to take advantage of sweet, warm, loving women like you.

If you have never met this man and if your only contact with him so far is by phone or Internet, I really want you to end this. It is not a question of his changing; the reality could be that he is simply not interested in a real relationship with you because he could be married or just enjoys having so many girlfriends on the Internet. The best thing for you to do is to say goodbye to him and find a real boyfriend who will love you, and you can love him, the old fashioned way (and no, I have nothing against Internet dating).  I know how difficult it is for you to realize that while you gave him all your love, all you got in return are lies and deception.