MYNIPPON

I recently read that Jon Hamm (the actor who plays Don Draper in the show Mad Men) characterized his relationship with his girlfriend (Jennifer Westfeldt) of years as the ‘love of his life,’ but added that they have no plans to marry.  It is similar to Brangelina, a couple who have the perfect family but refuse to tie the knot.  And it is not just the celebs who are choosing to live together, sometimes in better relationships than couples in traditional marriages; millions of couples now do the same are very happy, raising kids, buying homes, and doing everything together except filing their taxes as a married couple.

Except for those who want to marry for religious reasons, marriage has a few benefits.  While a breakup is easier than a divorce, once a couple decides to end a relationship, they can do it and having a prenup agreement is very helpful.

Commitment phobia is different from disinclination to marry

Then there are men who are commitment phobes and they scare women who just want to find a man, marry him, have babies, and live happily thereafter.  Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie say that they will not marry till there is marriage equality in America, while Hamm told Parade that “I don’t have the marriage chip, and neither of us have the greatest examples of marriages in our families. But Jen is the love of my life, and we’ve already been together four times longer than my parents were married.”  They definitely are a classic example of why children of divorced couples often have trouble appreciating the value of tying the knot and even couples who stay together for the sake of kids but fight constantly end up raising kids with a very distorted view of marriage.

Talk about marriage early on during the dating phase

There is no scientific evidence yet of a marriage gene but some men are more into marriage than others: the men who start talking wedding and kids after a few dates.  Then there are others who enjoy company of women — the way George Clooney does — but simply do not want to deal with all the hassles and drama of getting married.  As a woman it is important that as you start dating a man, start talking about these things.  Many of these guys are awesome, and even more faithful than some of those marriage-minded men, and if you are fine with that, enjoy your love and life, but if you are one of those old-fashioned gals who like wedding gowns, honeymoons, pregnancy, sending kids to college, and all the other conventional things that average people do, you may want to leave sooner rather than later.