MYNIPPON

Summary

A loser will always be incapable of providing for a woman and it is best for women to be single than to suffer with such men who have too much baggage.

Andrea writes, “While you may find it hard to believe, but I found myself falling for a 35 year old man with eleven kids from seven moms.  He is married to one of them but currently separated.  We have been together for about two months now.  We are living together but he tells me just about everyday to go back to my mom’s house because I am also a single mom who started out as a pregnant teenager.  He also told me a couple of days ago he couldn’t love me because he was still in love with his wife.  I felt really hurt but I couldn’t make myself leave.  I just care for him so much and I just fell like I can help him when he’s down and do so much more for him than she ever would.  I feel bad because we were together a long time ago and I left him because I just didn’t have feelings for him but he was so in love with me.  Now this time it’s the opposite.  I’m in love with him and he doesn’t feel the same.  He has severe back problems so I do what I can for him.  That is why it is impossible for him to make love to me but I am okay with that.  Lately he has also been deleting messages from his iphone and clearing his call log.  I feel he is doing something behind my back while I’m at work but I just can’t accuse him of it.  The biggest problem, of course, is that I really have nowhere to go.  My mother is kind but not in a position to take me in and my child’s father is not only a loser, he is also totally irresponsible and unreliable that he cannot even watch his baby for a few hours.  What should I do?”

A man can only do so much

As you are finding out, your boyfriend is overwhelmed with all that is going on in his life (how can anyone father 11 kids with no money to even feed them and who are these women who get pregnant with a loser like that) and you are yet another “problem” for him.  No surprise then that he can’t seem to get his act together to pay attention to you or to your child.  Do not forget that affection for kids and love for a woman are things that happen only when your mind is in good place and you are generally feeling great.  When everything around you is stressful, the last thing you feel like doing is making love or playing with a kid.

Leave a loser as soon as possible

I know you are the best judge of what you should do, but my advice would be to go back to your mom’s and see how you can raise your son and have a happier life for yourself.  You work and that is a good thing because you are not a loser.  If you take one step at a time, you can really turn your life around.  I know it may seem tough to be without a man, but my principle is that it is better to be single than to be with a wrong man, and right now you are not meeting with right men.  And that maybe because you are with a wrong man so that stops you from meeting other men.

You are more likely to meet new men when you are single

Please if possible, make your life simple by going back to your Mother’s.  I know it is not the best situation to be but you will need to worry about you and your son alone and that would make things less stressful.  Trust me, after having a more normal life for a few months or years, you will be in a position to meet another nice man and see what happens.  In the meantime, just stay away from guys; if you get too lonely, I am sure you can simply go the mall with your girl friends.