Some details should never be shared
I understand exactly what is going on. While I will encourage you to hire an attorney for legal advice with regards to divorce, but before you do that, please do NOT tell your husband what happened. That can be used against you by your husband in divorce court and it can affect whether you can get custody of your kids and if you will get any share of the property.
In addition to that, having a child from another man will completely change your life, because now your husband can divorce you or start mistreating you for committing adultery. Even if the child’s father wants the baby, it will do no good to your life because you will be forced to deal with two men even if you become a single mom.
Options after abortion
Abortion is not an easy decision for any woman and personally I have no opinion on it, but looking at the facts of your case, an abortion maybe in everybody’s best interest. If you do choose that path, pretend it never happened and this incident should NEVER be told to anyone.
If you choose to have an abortion, you should still continue with your divorce because it appears to me that you do not even want to try to make it work. You have not told me about how you will live, but I hope you have given some thought to being a single mom with such small kids. I wouldn’t say it is going to be easy, but you are not the first woman to go through this. Most women do just fine.
Options if you have the baby
If you decide to give birth to the child, of course, your husband will most likely divorce you, but you can give away your baby for adoption, and try to raise the other kids. I am also hoping that eventually after enjoying a few years of being single, you can find love again and remarry.
Jester // Aug 6, 2010 at 10:30 pm
That’s got to be the worst advise I have ever encountered. “pretend it never happened, get the abortion (as to erase the evidence). A majority of women that a have come in for counseling have regretted get it done and may affect them for the rest of their lives ( some with suicidal thoughts) very very few do just fine. Trust me when I say this is may sound like a short cut but the consequences are devastating .
So what you may lost a court battle or share of everything, but you took responsibility, not many people want to deal with difficult issues but if not taken care of now they will built up later on.
Anonymous // Aug 7, 2010 at 8:04 am
No abortion!
He/she deserve to stand on earth.
You need to talk to both of men and be responsible of what you have done.
Bea // Jun 17, 2011 at 1:20 am
DO NOT say this is bad advice….I was a women who decided to KEEP the baby she was carrying while with an abusive boyfriend….It is 11 years later and this man not only destroy’s my son attempts at being a good, NORMAL man…but also interrupts my happy life with a good man….
IF this women got an abortion, there is NOTHING wrong about it…
And thinking of your children you ALREADY have is not wrong…
I only wish I had found these comments sooner and they didn’t sway the asker’s decision…
Abortion is each and every human beings own PERSONAL decision, regardless of what the two sides may think, it is not up to ANYONE but the pregnant women whether she keeps the baby or not….