I got this note from a 54-year old lady, “I have always
preferred younger men. I live with a wonderful
young man (29). He makes me laugh all of the time. He is very protective of me and my 15 year old son. We have so much in common. I love him very much. I worry that someday he will
grow tired of our relationship and want to
move on to a younger woman. He says no way! I just tell him that I will cherish the time that we have together and if the time comes that he wants to
move on, I will
let him go. We just take it one day at a time, and right now, really enjoy each other.”
Not all young men dating cougars leave them for women their age
Her attitude is the right one, though, I told her that she should try to get this thought out of her head that he will get tired of the relationship and leave her. Maybe he will, but so can a man of any age, and that is why I would not like her to hold his younger age against him.
Iskra Williams // Sep 12, 2011 at 12:12 pm
I was in a relationship with a guy 19 years younger than myself! I was 40 and he was 21! The age difference made more of a difference to me than him and after a while it really didn’t matter. But one day three years later he decided he wanted out!! I always knew the day would come but when it did, it knocked me for six!!! I old, empty and heartbroken isn’t the word!! But, then I realised it had nothing to do with my age!! If us women of age make a choice to date younger men/boys, we need to be realistic about the whole game!! Unless the younger man has lived and is responsible about the situation, it can work! If you find that you’re like his mum, always having to remind him what he should be doing, it’s time to take a reality check!! Especially when u have kids yourself!!! No matter what the age is, men are boys at heart and always will be so age for women I’d never the issue!!!!
Jay Dwivedi // Sep 15, 2011 at 3:07 pm
Iskra, thanks for the honest commentary. I always like to say that men leave women all the time, even when they are older or same age. In general, men who choose to date older women do so willingly and their reason to leave them have little to do with the age difference. It is just that we all need to find explanations in life and blaming the age difference is an easy one.
Bunga // Mar 20, 2012 at 12:25 pm
Lol, not from my experience oddly, after my maiarrge ended, I found everytime I turned around, younger guys were hitting on me. It annoyed me to some degree, because I assumed that they were just looking for sex.However, after a few months, I started to realize that while some of them were just taking shots, some were actually serious, and decided to stop being presumptuous and give them a chance if I found them interesting. Went out with several, ended up getting involved with one for a couple of years, and I ended up having to break things off because he wanted to get married and have kids, and I did not.My brother’s wife is 18 years older than him, and we figured they would last a year, if that they’ve been married for almost 20 years now.I have found that it really, really depends on the people involved. If they have common interests, common values, and similar energy levels and the chemistry is there, they will likely get along. Some people are more mature at 25 than others are at 45 and vice-versa some people have had more life experience at 22 than others at 50, and that makes a huge difference in their outlooks and goals.The younger guys that are interested in older women for relationships tend to give the following explanations about what they see as advantages or attractive about them- more straightforward and direct, less insecure, more focused, more self-aware, more independent, experienced in life and relationships, more settled. I think most younger women who prefer older men find some of the same characteristics important.I think it’s more common than it was in the past, and the term cougar amuses me, as I’m sure it does most older women who have actually dated younger guys. It definitely started out as a derogatory term- implying that older women were stalking or preying on younger guys. Lol, most of us who have actually dated younger guys find it hilarious because in 9 out of 10 older woman/younger guy relationships, he was the one doing the chasing. Most women that I know kicked many young guys to the curve without a glance before actually reconsideringwhy they were so quick to assume that young guys were not worth their time. Ultimately, the success of any relationship depends on the compatibility and communication between the people involved no matter what their ages.
La Fleur // Oct 23, 2012 at 6:13 am
I am sorry ladies! age is a real concern. It is the human nature to want for more and more, He says he loves an older woman now just to get her, and definetly after a while he will want to check the younger girls out there. Most probably he will keep both the older and younger in his life. If you agree to have such man and to shre your man with someone else, it is ok. BUT don’t lie to yourself your younger boyfriend will defintely cheat on you.
nonamesplz // Jan 6, 2013 at 2:46 pm
Wow, La Fluer Thanks for the bummer announcement. I was actually starting to feel better about being able to age gracefully with my younger man. Back to the suicide plan,Iguess.