Carol writes, “I have been dating a wonderful man for a few months now and while we have made out, I am ready for more. However, it seems that he isn’t making a move. I was wondering how do I make him want me more?”
A man is always interested in sex
I would like you to know that chances are very high that he is waiting for the next stage as eagerly as you are. As far as I can imagine, I think he already wants you; he is just waiting for the next signal to come from you. The only reason he has not pushed it — most men typically take the role of the initiators — is either that he is too shy or clueless or you had given him a wrong message.
How to make sex happen naturally?
I think you want to create the next situation in which he basically feels that he has seduced you (sounds a bit funny, but engineered seductions are the best way to deal with such situations and cause minimum embarrassment to both parties). Here is what I suggest and please make changes based on your situation since you want to have your first time with him special:
- Make sure that there is plenty of time available for it. Anything done in a hurry is fine but is not memorable.
- Arrange for a private space. Obviously, it will be nice to have some place beautiful and romantic, but privacy should be paramount. Thus, a hotel room or your personal place where you can expect not to be disturbed will be great (that is why parks and cars aren’t that great).
- If you are not on birth control, then have a condom ready. After all you don’t want to get pregnant.
- Choose your outfit appropriately. While almost anything will be fine, both men and women have told me that a dress or skirt is the best. Also, since you will be disrobing, wear your finest underwear. Unless you have to, avoid pantyhose. If you must, try garters. That will make it easier.
- Follow the simple routine for kissing and once you are both comfortable and things are heating up, guide his mouth towards other parts of your body. I am hoping that this will motivate him to kiss you there. Since there will be a lot of action, this will be a good time for you to just let your underwear show. I expect him at this point to start undressing you and you can do the same help him get out of his clothes. My hope is that by this time he should have a good erection and if not, kissing/touching him will definitely help. Once you know he is ready, get into position and guide him inside you after putting on the condom. Hopefully, everything will go smoothly.
- Carol, no situation is totally predictable and you will need to modify based on both of you, the exact moment, and how things proceed, but I am optimistic that it will be smooth and easy. And just relax and enjoy. After all, if things don’t go perfect the first time, there is always another time.