Annabelle writes, “I am an insecure woman. Just got married, again, after the last one ending in him having an affair. Yes, I am scared. Ex-boyfriends have also have had affairs on me. My new husband is definitely not a CEO, doctor or lawyer. He is a maintenance man at a a gym facility. I am sure there are more attractive men out there and I am, in essence the breadwinner even though I am a housewife. But insecurity still lurks in all walks of life, So yes, majority of employees and members are female. Some very attractive. I am in my upper thirties, very thin, fashionable, happy and out-going. Weaknesses: Insecure and jealous. I am trying to fight it. I am trying my hardest not to let it show. I don’t question anything but keep one eye open. Yes, the past got the best of me.”
MYNIPPON
Love & life, guilt free
Kami // Nov 26, 2010 at 6:47 pm
Do not be so hard on yourself. You have been through enough. So feelings will take time to leave. Focus on how attractive you are, FUN and out going. It takes a somewhat a secure woman to be all three. RELAX and GROW
Anne K. // Mar 28, 2011 at 12:51 pm
And how do you stop feeling insecure when your spouse goes out with women behind your back, does not tell them that he’s in a relationship, even after they fall for him (he’s very charming, attractive and tells them how beautiful they are along with taking them for dinner and long drives in the country) he does not tell them anything about me and they’re confused why he doesn’t invite them to his house AND if he does – I have to leave and stay either at a friends or a hotel and yet he SWEARS I’m his best friend and he doesn’t want sex with them but to make new friends without me being any part of it.
Do I have issues with jealousy & insecurity – YOU BET. Any suggestions?
Jay Dwivedi // Mar 28, 2011 at 5:46 pm
Anne, while I recognize that there are moments when we are totally helpless (e.g. when Nature strikes or when the world changes in ways that we can’t help) but most of the time we simply surrender and give control to others. This is even worse for those who are insecure.
In your case, the reason you are feeling insecure and jealous is that you have surrendered yourself to him ensuring a lifetime of humiliation and abuse. Why would you leave home so that he can be with his mistresses? Why would you even let him call you his spouse if you are nothing more than a toy for him?
Anne, security is within you and all you need to do is to tap it. Once you have it, you will set the rules, not him.