MYNIPPON

Sarita writes, “I am in a serious relationship with a man 18 years younger to me. We have decided to marry in a few years as soon as we are more established in our careers. We were best friends and share the same birthday. It’s heaven when we are together. Age has never seemed a concern, rather, we don’t even notice it. The only challenge that we face is the social setup. Since, we are in India, it’s even tougher. Need your advice.”

The social setup for such relationships is not very warm anywhere but I can understand that in conservative cultures it is particularly hard.  Even here in the United States, most couples find that they have to be really strong and people do talk behind their backs.

How to take on the world if my boyfriend is younger?

1. What I would suggest is that you both work on bringing your families and close friends on board.  Once you have people close to you fighting on your behalf, things are much better when dealing with distant relatives, friends, and neighbors.
2. Consider relocating to a metropolitan area where people are more open-minded and more likely to ignore you.  It is only in small cities that people have way too much time on their hands to poke into other people’s business.  Chances are that in a big city you might even come across other couples with huge age gaps and build a support group.
3. Finally, just learn to live for yourself and your happiness rather than for others.  The more you care about what others think the more miserable you will be the rest of your life.  People have a habit of talking and if it were not this, they will figure out something else to talk about.  It could be something as simple as the size of your nose or that you have too many guests visiting in your house or that your skirts are too short or that you are not friendly to your neighbors.  The best way to deal with the society is to acknowledge its existence but not let it dominate you.  It won’t be as difficult as it seems.  Love is a powerful force.