Cate writes, “My boyfriend is a very intimate man and he loves me too touch literally, but sometimes I get a wee bit tired of all of the touching and wish for more action in bed. Do you have any suggestions to get to the more explosive stage in our lovemaking?”
Just tell a guy what to do
There are two ways to make him do what you want him to. One, just tell him directly and honestly. For instance, if you want him to kiss, tell him to. Or if you are ready for sex, tell him that you would like to make love to him. Most normal men appreciate such honest feedback and initiative because they are generally wary of rejection or offending a woman. In any case, most guys are ready for sex all the time.
Give bold hints to him
In case, you are shy or you do not want to come across as the woman-in-charge, then you can be more subtle. For example, if you want him to kiss you on your lips, when you are guys are in an intimate moment, bring your face very close to him as if you are really feeling the love, and then bring the mouth really close to his. Hopefully, unless he is an idiot, he will kiss you. The same applies to asking him to make love to you.
brooke // Jul 31, 2011 at 4:04 am
my boyfriend never initiates sex,and i don’t know why,i am always the one initiating d sex.pls what can i do to make him be the one to initiate sex
Jay Dwivedi // Aug 1, 2011 at 8:30 pm
Brooke, first of all, you have to find out what is it that never motivates him to become intimate with you. Unless you can get the answer indirectly, at the right moment, ask him directly. There are other possibilities for his behavior. He could be extremely shy or afraid of rejection or lacking in self esteem.
Now another way to look at it is that if the end result is achieved and you are both happy, does it really matter who initiates it? Indeed, in a perfect relationship, it is very satisfying when the other person initiates it because you feel wanted and that is a powerful emotion, but if all else is otherwise, I would not recommend getting too bogged down with this small problem.
Abisoye // Sep 10, 2011 at 11:46 am
My boyfriend did not make love to me all because he did not have money
Jay Dwivedi // Sep 15, 2011 at 3:03 pm
Abisoye, I am not sure that is the reason. In one remote possibility, a man’s self esteem may go down so much that he may lose his libido, but you may want to think through this and nail down the problem.
ad // Nov 27, 2012 at 11:49 am
may i know wht i can send through sms while talking about sex..how can i satisfy him thru text messages..pls reply..
Jay Dee // Nov 27, 2012 at 2:24 pm
Ad, there is no need for help from anyone. You need to write what you feel in your heart. If I or anyone else helps write it, it will sound fake because that wouldn’t be you, that would not be the person your boyfriend knows. Good luck.
shanthi // May 15, 2013 at 1:21 am
i have a boyfrnd,i love him so much,one day my boyfriend ask me to sex with me,In my frnds room he want to sex with me but iam fear to sex with me,he always talk about sex.but now i feel that y i miss sex with him but now iam ready want to sex with him,how can i tell that iam ready to sex with him.plz help me.plz
Jay Dee // May 15, 2013 at 3:16 pm
Dear Shanthi, trust me, if you tell him honestly and directly exactly as you have written here, he will be very happy, because nothing makes a guy happier than realizing that a girl wants him.
sss // May 20, 2013 at 5:12 am
we went to long drive,we did just light sex bcoz we have no place to sex we both miss him.i ask him a room but there is no room i mean he was not lived here.but now i want to more sex with him how can i tell that i want sex with u one more time.
abc // May 20, 2013 at 5:33 am
Hi, i have a boyfriend,i love him so much,my boyfriend share their feeling with another girl where ever he goes anywhere they will tell to that girl.me and myboyfriend sex together that matter dont tell with that girl.how can i ask him what that relation between u and that girl,its not a dought but when my boyfriend talk to that girl i feel said,and also how can i know that he loves me or not.
shanthi // May 20, 2013 at 8:05 am
Thanks a lot for suggestion,i had indirect ask him for a sex. we have lightly we did oral sex with him.but we both are not satisfy with sex what we did.but i want more sex with him how i can ask that i want one more time sex with u in phone how to start to ask indirect to sex to him and should myboyfriend desire to tell me that iam ready for sex plz help me
Jay Dee // May 20, 2013 at 9:55 am
Dear SSS, well, if not having a private room was the barrier, is it possible for you rent a hotel room? How about asking a good friend to let you have a room or the whole house for a few hours or even a weekend? Once you arrange that and invite him to join you, he would know what that means. Hey, guys don’t need to be told that you want to make love to them; on the contrary, it seems that sex is the only thing on their minds. Good luck.
Jay Dee // May 20, 2013 at 9:58 am
Dear ABC, I think your boyfriend does not love you as much as you think because one of the first rules of love is privacy. If he would love you, he would never share your secrets with anyone else. Yes, he can occasionally share a problem with you to a close friend — man or woman — but if he is sharing everything with another woman, he is either immature or he is simply playing games with you.
The right way to handle this is to tell him to stop doing it if he wants to be your boyfriend. Tell him that you do not mind his friendship with this woman but he has to treat her like a friend — not a girlfriend. If he refuses to behave, it is time to dump him.
Jay Dee // May 20, 2013 at 10:03 am
Hello Shanthi, I am glad that my advice helped you. Now if you believe that neither of you were satisfied the first time, I am positive that he wants to go to the next stage as much as you do. So as I responded to this another lady with a similar problem, you want to arrange a date, maybe a trip out of town or let a friend invite you to let you two stay with her/him, and when you two will be in comfortable, private setting, trust me, he will do the job without you even asking for it. Good luck and let me know how it goes.
shanthi // May 20, 2013 at 10:51 am
how to tell what we did sex before how to talk to him in phone about sex that we did before.how to mood my boyfriend they have to said that iam ready for sex with u
Jay Dee // May 20, 2013 at 11:50 am
Dear Shanthi, I do not see the reason to talk much beyond mentioning something along the lines of “I enjoyed your company the other day.” Secondly, whether you organize a date in a private setting or you both do it together, it is a clear indication to any guy that you want go farther than last time. You can obviously also bring along lubricant and condom and keep it in a prominent place as a hint. I am very confident that unless something is not normal about this guy, he wants to go all the way more than you do. All you two need is a private place and so make that happen.
mounika // May 20, 2013 at 12:33 pm
i dont know boyfriend loves me or not,i love him but i have dought if i sex with him that indicate a he loves me or not.boyfriend sex with me.it indicate that he loves me or not plz reply me
shanthi2 // May 21, 2013 at 5:06 am
thanks ya i will do what u said,but i have a small problem iam asking him for a sex but i dont know what he was thinking,iam calling him but he think that he had been bad opinion on me that she was calling for me for sex,but my feeling is that i want to spend more time with him and also sex.he only want to call me and want to said that i want sex with u. this all want to said with me what to do reply me
Jay Dee // May 21, 2013 at 8:53 am
Hello Mounika, generally speaking men do not need to be in love with a woman to have sex with her. So if you seduce him do not immediately conclude that he loves you already or will somehow fall in love after you give him sex. Accordingly, if you first want to make sure that he loves you, it is better to wait and let the relationship develop over time. After becoming closer to him, asking him, and analyzing his behavior, if you are convinced that he loves you as much as you do, go right ahead and celebrate your love with sex.
Jay Dee // May 21, 2013 at 8:57 am
Shanthi, are you sure that you are with the right man? Are you sure that you are not throwing yourself at him? If a man has a low opinion of you, meaning he does not think highly of you and respect you, why would you be with him? More specifically, why would you want to have sex with him? A good man will respect his girl and be very thankful to her when he offers herself for sex with him. My conclusion is that you should wait to find a good man to make love to you; in the meantime, it is okay to have casual sex with someone, but not with a man who looks down upon you.
xjmad // May 21, 2013 at 12:19 pm
i love him,what he was feeling i dont know when i ask him indirect for sex for repeatedly what he feel i dont know, i mean when i cal him.first he want to ask me for sex,i want suggestion that addicate to ask me for sex plz help me
xjmad // May 21, 2013 at 12:23 pm
he feel happy or not i dont know when i ask him for sex indirectly on phone.
Jay Dee // May 21, 2013 at 2:12 pm
Hello Xjmand, I am not sure that you need to ask for sex from someone you love and if he loves you back. It is something that happens naturally when both of you are ready. Generally speaking when a woman shows that she is ready to make love to a man that they have had a relationship for some time, it is an indication that they are getting serious and want to move forward in a committed, loving relationship. It is clear that in your case, it is still a casual relationship because apparently you are in love and he is not. So be patient and let things evolve gradually.