MYNIPPON

Gary writes, “I am 26 years old and the woman I am falling for is 30. It was easy getting her number and so far we have been on three dates.  We get on really well…like friends. We have kissed but not yet been intimate. I feel I have charmed her because I come across too nice and serious in making her welcomed in my world. I have already hinted that I like her and am serious about her and while we are both very busy, I do find time to meet her and send her text messages.  I feel, though, that she sometimes tries to avoid meeting me.  She still responds me to me in a pleasant manner, but I sense that she tries to brush me off at times.  I wonder how I can patch things up between us before it’s too late. I don’t think she wants to hurt my feelings, she tells me everything but I feel now she is ready to sack me off.  I am feeling love sick and have lost weight and sleep thinking about her. Is she still interested?  How can I be her boyfriend? I have four other women younger than me who text me but I am not as interested in them as I am in her. I realize now she gets bored easily and all she wants is some fun. Is it better to ask her questions about us? Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.  What’s your opinion and solution?”

Tips for a guy to behave with a girl who he has just started to date

1. A woman just 4 years older than you is not really an older woman, because while you are mathematically right, she is essentially in your age group and in almost all respects thinks like you and may have almost similar experiences in life.  When I look at this issue, I am thinking more of couples in which one partner has had very different set of experiences because of the age difference.  So for instance, if you were dating a 40 year old woman who has already been married and has teenage kids, you two will be very different.  So I hope that you do not make her feel old by highlighting this insignificant age gap.
2. It seems that your relationship is very new because you are still learning more about each other.  It seems that she is very responsive and positive to you and a lot of things that are scaring you are nothing but your imagination.  So just relax, be a gentleman, and stay focused.  Do not get over excited or try to stalk her or come across as desperate but show that you like her and are very interested in taking this relationship farther.  If you move too fast, that may make her skeptical.  You two are still at an early stage so going somewhat slow will work wonders.
3. And finally, behave like a confident man.  No woman likes a desperate or needy man.  While you do not want to ignore her or play hard to get, you do not want her to feel that you are some kind of loser who wants to have her right away.