Justin writes, “I’m a 25 year old male. I’ve been talking a woman who is 43 years old and would like to know what are some of the pros and cons of such an age difference. Our relationship is not sexual but I was just curious because I’ve been hearing about relationships like this one.”
Pros
- Most likely she is going to be low maintenance. Younger women are typically high maintenance simply because as we get older we tend to slow down.
- More understanding. She has seen the world and has more experience in life. She will be looking at everything through a more mature lens.
- You will have opportunity to learn something from her and together you can take better decisions because you both will complement each other; you will bring a fresher perspective while she will provide experience and wisdom.
Cons
- Chances are very high that she cannot get pregnant naturally if you decided to get married and wanted a child together.
- She may have a lot of baggage in case she has failed in relationships, career, life, etc.
- You two might drift apart because over time you two will be in different phases of life.
pretty much said it // Feb 24, 2011 at 3:16 pm
i am in this predicament and while the pros and cons seem right my gf is 18 years older than me to which at first i couldn’t handle the age difference but have been with her for more than three years now and we get along pretty well i know she loves me and honest and loyal and do not have that worry about her cheating and what not, anyway i guess i am referring to con num 3 i feel she has done a lot with her life and i need to live mine, thoughts go through my mine everyday things like is this what i want for the rest of my life why couldnt she have been younger, it just feels different and i find myself wanting to be with women my own age and do stuff on my own because of what other people are thinking
Jay Dwivedi // Feb 24, 2011 at 4:21 pm
The lesson that I have learned in life is that you have to live according to the value system you develop for yourself. Once you start to consider what others are saying or will say, there is no end to it. When do you stop? Will you do everything that they will ask you to? I have also learned that while people like to gossip, the reality is that people are far more focused on their lives than that of others. So do what feels right to you and forget about the others.
sally // Sep 7, 2011 at 9:44 pm
I’m a cougar we have been together for 8 yrs married 4 yrs. Husband now has a desire to have a child after promising never wanted any children. I can’t give him one!!! We are very much in love with each other. The only way is to get a divorce so he can find someone to give him a child.
Jay Dwivedi // Sep 8, 2011 at 11:01 am
Thanks Sally for sharing your story because it highlights a problem that couples like you have. It is sad that your husband has changed his mind but to me it appears that he is merely using this as an excuse to divorce you.