Summary: This is the case of a woman who is frustrated with her husband because he simply is unable to express his feelings towards her and she not only does not feel less wanted by him, she does not even know what is he feeling. I give her tips to analyze her behavior and suggestions to improve communication between the two of them.
One of my readers asks, “How do I make him open to expressing his affections?”
This is a problem that many women have simply because men are relatively less expressive of their emotions and women get frustrated that not only they do not tell them how they feel about them or their relationship, they do not even share what is bothering them.
So why may your man not be showing his affection? There can be several reasons and let us list them:
- Is he shy? An introvert?
- Is he reserved in expressing his affection not just for you but also towards his parents, siblings, and friends?
- Are you simply more expressive than him?
- Are you from two different cultures?
When you answer some of these questions, you maybe able to appreciate where he is coming from. Maybe you will realize that he is still a wonderful partner, but just not the type to scream about his love for you with passion. In any case, in my opinion, what matters is what is in his heart.
What else can be done to make him expressive? There is no better way to make your partner do something than to just ask him. It is not a good idea to assume that he knows what you want or he should know that. We all do not know some very obvious things and that is why it will be nice for you to tell him what is that you are looking for. After giving way too many over-priced but useless gifts to my wife, she finally has decided to tell me what she wants for Christmas or Valentine’s Day, and then I just make it happen. It has taken the stress out of finding and shopping for a gift and she is happier because she now gets what she wants and is not stuck with something that she does not like and cannot return it for the fear of offending me.
If he is shy or introvert, it is not easy to change him but if you engage him in more social activities he may change. In that case if he is otherwise a good partner, you will have to simply learn to live with his personality.
And finally, make sure that you two otherwise have a good relationship because if he is just cold towards you, and is not sharing, it might be signs of trouble.
Missy // Jan 27, 2012 at 6:31 pm
I think a lot of men get it into their heads that women do not desire men that are affectionate and show their feelings, and they need to be shown that affection and emotional response is wanted, making such a man feel so accepted can be difficult and requires patience and of course, sensitivity and gratitude for their co-operation.