MYNIPPON

Man wants his girlfriend to end relationship due to problems in his life and career:      Priscilla entered into a relationship with an older, single dad who has sole custody of his two sons.  Things have been rough for the two of them and her boyfriend has been hinting to her that she should just leave him alone to deal with his problems.  Since she has invested so much into the relationship, she does not want to just give up because not only does she love him, she also believes that without him in her life, she will get depressed.  She also believes that if she leaves now, the relationship will simply end forever but if she stays there is hope for saving it.  She asks me, “I am staying against his will and am hoping that as time passes, problems in his life will go away and we can get our relationship back on the track.  But what do I tell him?”

Communication of every decision is important even if the partner does not want to listen:     Before you choose to still stay with him, you need to tell him pretty much what you feel.  Tell him that you recognize the severity of circumstances, understand his feeling of being overwhelmed and mistreating you, even hoping that you will go away, but you did not get into this relationship to be so casually thrown out not because there was no love between the two, but just because the circumstances got tough.  Couples who survive through years of relationships and marriage do so because they are able to handle both easy and tough times together.  That is why you will be with him, support him, hopefully win the hearts of his children, and build a life together with him.

Always explain your side of the story:     Do not be discouraged if he still says that he doesn’t care and whatever you do is fine because right now he is in a very troubled state of mind.  Still, it is important to tell him your plan and thought process because he needs to at least listen to what you have to say and where you are coming from.  Also you do not want him to feel that you are some desperate woman who has nowhere to go; you need to emphasize that you are staying with him because you love him and are optimistic about the future.  If saying all this sounds difficult, I even suggest that you write it down in a letter and hand it over to him.  Then you can talk about it.