Dolores is recently divorced and is struggling to cope with the loneliness and the shock of being rejected so awfully by the love of her life. She tells me, “I have been trying to build my confidence but when I look at myself (I look really sad these days and tired because I sleep about 3 hours a night) it’s hard for me to see things that I like. I know I have pretty eyes but right now they don’t shine and sparkle, they just look dull and sad. I have lost about 20 lbs since the breakup and I looked in the mirror the other day and finally for the first time since high school I had the thought, “Wow, you look really good today.” What else can I do to feel better about myself?”
I really want to emphasize the importance of not ruining your health due to the breakup. I know it is a big loss but it is over. Maybe another good man will come in your life soon but in the meantime you need to go on with your life. Obviously, you can go to your doctor for some prescription sleeping pills, but I can recommend Melatonin (you can find these pills in any health food store or in a supermarket; start with one pill and after a few good nights lower it to a quarter pill till you realize that you are able to sleep naturally).
Also try to stay busy by picking up a hobby that you may have ignored. Whenever I have time, I read or watch movies, especially comedy and fantasies. I am glad that you genuinely felt pretty after such a long time so that means that all that positive reinforcements that you are doing is working. Keep that up, Dolores. Only we can tell ourselves what is good about us. Everyone else is too busy with their own little lives.