Andrew writes, “I need more sex than I get in my marriage. I want to keep my marriage and have an extramarital affair. I’d need some advice and or answers, please. Do women feel/think like that too? How do I approach a married woman who doesn’t look for it? How do I make her think about it? What should I do/say to make her think about it and to get her attention?”
There are several ways to go around it:
- The safest bet, of course, is to discuss with your wife if she understands what you are going through. If she is good enough for you to not even considering a divorce, she might be able to change her behavior. I am assuming that you have already gone through this exercise, but I just wanted to make sure that she understood how frustrated you are and how you would like her to cooperate.
- This is a very delicate issue and has to be handled with a lot of care but if she absolutely refuses to keep up with you, assuming the kind of person she is and how open minded she is, she might agree that you have an affair or have sex outside of marriage with her consent. This would make things much easier for you if you were ever to be caught cheating. Trust me, extramarital affairs are nearly impossible to hide and one way or the other you will be caught.
- In case both these options do not work, and if you can afford it, consider a mistress. There are many websites that for a price will help you hook up with women who will give you what you need while you take care of some of their expenses, like college tuition or their insatiable desire for shopping. Since you are paying them not for the relationship but as a favor, it is much more likely that she will not show up at your door or try to blackmail you.
- Reach out to a married woman, as you seem to be thinking. You are probably aware that there are millions of women who live in sexless relationships for a variety of reasons but they are extremely unhappy with their sex lives. They do not have affairs for the simple reason that they are complicated and can lead to even more problems if the woman is caught. So, as you ask, yes there are a lot of married women who would like to have an affair, have someone who will take care of their sexual needs, but not get romantically involved with them because they too do not want to leave their marriages. The right way to approach is to identify someone who is close to you, and you are more or less sure that she too is in similar situation, so that there is minimal suspicion about it because she is more likely to understand and cooperate. Indeed, you can try the Internet and it should not be all that difficult once you get to it, but it is always easier if someone was close by and would not require enormous effort in just identifying. To get started, once you develop a rapport with the target, act like a good man, who is trapped because of the kids in a marriage. Do not disparage your wife (as jealous as women are, even of their best friends, they still want you to respect women, particularly your wife) but try to gain her sympathy by pouring your heart to her. Tell her how sad your life is and how you often get so frustrated that you feel like doing something crazy. Nothing melts a woman’s heart more than an unhappy but good man who is trapped because of his commitments. Generally speaking, if you have picked the right target, the next step will be easy.
I hope you realize you are playing with fire, but if you target the right person, you will do just fine. Let me know if you have more questions and keep me updated with the progress. I like to know how my advice works.