Raymond writes, “I am a married guy very attracted to a married woman, who happens to be a family friend. She is such a kind and gentle spirit and a very beautiful woman. At the start when we all met in a group environment I was very taken by how much I felt her looking at me me a lot. I have always been attracted to her and noticed her presence but I never acted on this until only just lately. Now I have started to look back when I have noticed her looking at me, making eye contact, and smiling. As time has gone by and more group activities have been occurring I have noticed this behavior a little more. There came a chance where I asked her to join me for coffee. Everything went well, I then asked for coffee again, she said yes, but then invited a few other girlfriends from the group we belong to. On the day the other women left after coffee and we stayed behind chatting, laughing and had just a very good conversation. I tried to show a lot of interest in her as I am genuinely so very interested in her. Every time I am around her I try to be attractive with an alpha-male personality. The thing is she shows no other signs that she likes me other then I feel her eyes looking at me. I would love our friendship to become stronger and for us to become closer as I feel I am starting to fall in love with her. Or am I making all this up in my head and there is nothing there? I don’t want to risk anything; there are a lot of friendships at stake. Does she feel the same way? She talks about having more children with her husband. Have I just lost my mind here? Am I totally making up this story only because I have fallen for a beautiful girl? Even though I am married it feels like I have been waiting for this girl all my life and here she is!! BAM!! Save this poor soul, please.”
High probability that the interest is mutual: I would be very surprised to find out that her interest in you is purely platonic (unless she is really naive). You know how jealous women are and that is why they also avoid situations that may create jealousy. So she would not want to go out with you without your wife in company because it could create a lot of complications for everyone. Like you, I have a strong inclination towards accepting that she has more than casual interest in you.
Decide what type of relationship you want: Going forward, this is what I would propose. First of all, you have to clearly decide what do you want from her. Do you plan to have a relationship with her, divorce your wife, ask her to get a divorce, and then marry her? This is the most complicated scenario and accordingly least likely to work out, though, it sometimes does with a lot of anger and bitterness since you all know each other. I am also guessing that she is not inclined towards this outcome because she has hinted to you that she wants to be a mother to his kids.
Extra-marital relationship could be easier to achieve: If your desired outcome is an extramarital affair with her, then, keep the conversations and interactions going on for some time to gain her trust. Do not forget that even if she feels the same way like you, she does not know how you feel. Unfortunately, we live on a planet where human beings are terrified of honest conversations and like to talk in confusing language. Imagine if you could talk about honestly and once you find out the truth, move on as if nothing happened? Since that is not possible, try to spend as much time with her as possible, and give her hints about how much you like and admire her. If she accepts the compliments and does not resist the attention, you are on the right path. For all we know, she maybe dissatisfied in bed, and sees you as someone who can donate a few orgasms.
Raymond, this is not going to be easy. I recently helped a man exactly in the same circumstances and the woman even wanted to be his secret lover because her husband is half-crazy, but chickened out because she thought she could never sleep with her best friend’s husband.