MYNIPPON

Roger met a woman at a party several months ago and briefly spoke to her.  She came with a man so the conversation was polite and short.  He did not think that the couple was married or that they were in a serious relationship, but when he went home, he could not stop thinking about how attractive she was and what a magnetic personality she had.  He writes, “The more I thought about her, the more I realized that it will be nice to explore if I could date here.  There was something special about her and now even a though sends this electricity through my body.  I am currently in the middle of a get together with this couple and several other people at a resort.  She has not been particularly curious about me and she is still with the same guy; they look a bit cozier than before but still not as intimate.  I think she is trying her best to come across as a woman in love but I don’t think it is working.  Should I still try to approach her for a relationship, or is it that I am chasing a dead end here?”

Outward behavior of a woman can be misleading: So this is what I think.  You know how we all are.  We maybe miserable inside but in front of our friends and family we always try to put the best face forward.  Just because her companion is not being a pain or they look like a happy couple, it means nothing.  I know people on Facebook who present their lives as if they have it better than George Clooney but (I have found out) they are depressed and without their meds they will pull all their hair out.

Everyone likes convoluted talk: Secondly, we all play these stupid games on this planet.  You know I dream of a world, in which you could simply walk up to this girl and say, “Sweetheart, I can see that you are miserable with this dude and if you don’t think like that, you are in denial.  You deserve better and I am that guy.  Come hold my hand, leave all this crap, and let us build a beautiful life together.”  Unfortunately, that sort of honesty is difficult so you will need to be subtle and discreet.  When she is pretending that she hardly knows you, she is playing games, as some women do.  It is understandable, though.  She is there with her male friend and so many people know her and to be seen chatting with a perfect stranger will pose unnecessary problems.

Be bold and get what you want: Since you may not have so much time together with her, you never want to have regrets that ‘I wish I had done this or that’ because this is a do-or-die situation.  For all we know you may not see her any more.  My advice would be to be cautious of the situations but when you get the chance, try to chat her up.  At this point, your goal is not to propose marriage to her or even ask her if she is unhappy in her relationship.  What you want is her phone number or email address.  If you achieve that much, you would have made enormous progress because it will be much easier to move forward with finding out what is going on by email and/or phone than while you are there.  If she resists even that much, maybe you were wrong the whole time.  If you get the phone/email, you have hope.