MYNIPPON

Rod went to a party and was casually introduced to a couple.  He is a single man and was not actively looking to meet someone at that party but after sitting next to this woman at the dining table, he was amazed by how sweet and charming she was.  He felt that she was more interested in him than someone should be but never got a chance to actually hint to her that they should try to meet again.  It would have been so much easier to ask her out if she were single, but after he came back home, he argued that he can still ask her out because maybe she is unhappy in her marriage and would not mind leaving her husband for him.

It is easy to track people online by doing some research: He writes, “I did some Googling and within a few hours of research I was able to track the husband down on LinkedIn.  From his full name, I could find his home address and telephone number.  So now I have her full name, residential address, and phone number, but unfortunately, I cannot track her down on Facebook or find her email address.  First, I thought that maybe I should just call her or send her flowers with a note, but if something does not go right, I might either spook her as a stalker or her husband might suspect something.  What do you suggest I do to get a message to her that I am romantically interested in her and would like to date her?”

Use a messenger to send her a message: I would like to suggest two options.  First, you could send another man or woman (it can either be a friend or a professional you can hire) who can pretend to be someone else, like a religious worker or volunteer or door-to-door salesman.  It is important that this is someone who has done something like this before.  She or he should also practice this before doing it because if the husband opens the door and starts to ask something unexpected, this person should be able to hold on her or his own.  You know all those crazies these days with guns and all, we don’t want a mess just by knocking on someone’s door.  If this person meets the target, he can simply hand her a note saying that it is from Rod, thank her, and discreetly leave.

Meet her in a public place when she is alone: The second option, which I prefer even more, is that you try to nail down her schedule to some extent by figuring out if she works, when she goes grocery shopping, and what does her typical day looks like.  And then approach her in a public place and hand her a letter, saying, “I have something for you.  Thank you.” And before she even responds, quietly slip away.  That way it will be risk free, though, you too should be prepared for unexpected situations like she sees you first, greets you warmly, and starts asking you what brings you to that area or such other questions.  For all we know she could be with someone else at the time and may have no hesitation in talking to you in front of her or him and might even introduce you to them.  So better think about those situations and be prepared to handle them.