Hayley writes, “I met a guy online about six months ago. We talked on the phone, we found that we have everything in common but we are from different states. At the time he was so sweet that I began to love him. Then he wanted me to move to his state and I did just that but things started to fall apart by his insecurities from his last relationship. It didn’t last between us for long. It felt like rushed, so fast, in and out, which really hurt me in the end. Tell me why is that?”
Living together should be the last step before engagement: Yours was a rather tricky situation because of the distance. You see, if he were physically close to you, both of you would have had a lot more opportunities to get to know each other before moving in together, but since that was not possible, you had to skip all those steps and move in directly. No surprise then that you found out that you two were not really compatible. It can happen. People online or on the phone can be much nicer; it is only when we really spend time together we can find out more about others.
That is why it is much better to get to know someone before moving in together and building a household together. I guess it is good in a way that it is over because you can move on and know that in the future you would not do something like this again. Yes, your heart got broken and you had to go through the hassle of moving but it much better that you came out of this early on rather than dragging it for years.