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Online
safety tips when you date
Follow
more or less the rules of dating in the offline world
 By Pierre Coda
The
Internet has allowed us to look at dating in a totally
different light. From
the comfort of our home, at any time of the day, at our
own pace, we can now engage in the dating
game.
No more the need to get dressed up, spend hours
in bars and clubs hoping to meet a decent person, and in
most cases, coming home disappointed and frustrated.
It is, therefore, fair to say that online dating
has empowered us by letting us be in control of the
dating process and has also made it more efficient.
A trip to a bar, with all the preparation needed,
might have allowed us to meet maybe half-a-dozen
interesting people.
On the leading dating
websites, however, you
can literally ‘meet’ thousands of prospects with
just one or two hours of research.
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In
this article, we want to focus on some basic safety tips
that one should keep in mind while dating online. Online
dating, with all its conveniences and efficiency, has
also made us less careful about how we behave.
We have heard dozens of horror stories from our
members who (in the heat of the moment) sent private pictures of themselves (that were instantly
posted on the Internet) or exposed themselves on a
webcam that also ended up on the Internet or was at
least used as a threat.
My rule of thumb, do not do anything online that
you would not do offline.
While there are several good online dating safety
articles on the Internet, we want to highlight a
couple of simple things that you should be aware of.
Remember some of these things are equally valid
even if you go to a bar, for example.
In fact, we think that online dating is far safer
than going to a bar alone at night but still you need to
watch out for a few things:
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- Stay
away from websites that allow posting of
free
personal ads. It
encourages all kinds of crazy people to post their
ads looking for vulnerable people (who themselves
get tempted because, well, these being free). Stick
to well-known, respected websites,
requiring disclosure of personal information and a credit
card number (remember that they also offer some free features and
a free trial period to allow you to evaluate their
system).
- It
is fine to exchange photos or chat using a webcam
but do not do anything that can come to haunt you
later. The
photo should be such that you would not mind being
seen in public in that outfit. Similarly, keep your clothes on while
chatting on a webcam. Only when you have reached a point in a
relationship that you can completely trust the other
person (preferably after a few dates), should you do
anything online that you could do offline too.
Let me also say that even though you can
trust the other person, not all Internet
communication is secure; hackers are very smart
these days in intercepting communications (the
techies tell me that, except for secure
communication used by businesses, everything else on
on
the Internet that most of us use is more or less like a postcard
sent by USPS mail – anyone can take a look at it and even
intercept it completely). (Related link:
Horrible experience of
a woman who signed up at free personals website)
- If
you see any red flags or if your gut tells you
something is not right, no matter how good the
person seems, just drop the relationship and move
on. There
are a lot of crazy folks with credit cards and
respectable-looking profiles.
- Exercise
common sense. If
in doubt, talk to a friend or family member first
before doing something. Pick up the phone and talk to the person
first. There
are also many tools that allow you to investigate a
person’s background before you actually pursue any
contact with them. They don’t cost a fortune but can save you
a lot of trouble.
Recommended links: Response
to online personals Visiting
boyfriend
Online dating mistakes |
