By Nisandeh Neta (From the book The Art of Lovemaking)

In the beginning, marriage intimacy was outrageous and passionate - it took over your body and your mind.  But a few years down the road, during the journey of your relationship, married life has gone from the intense, steamy stage to the routine, lukewarm stage - or even worse, the frozen tundra stage.   

If this is the case, your overall relationship is in jeopardy as too many marriages break up as a result of insufficient intimacy.  And then it's time to spice up your love life, relight the fire and bring passion, excitement and fun back into your married life.

Variations on a Theme

Like ice cream, physical pleasure comes in an amazing range of flavors - and everyone has a favorite. But your marriage suffers when you insist on always going back for more of the same.  Just varying your marriage intimacy routine in simple ways is enough to excite you and your partner into passionate lovemaking.  Actually, simple variations on a familiar theme seem to be the simplest and most effective way to spice your marriage.  (Related article:  Intimacy is critical to a healthy relationship)

Dressing yourself in seductive lingerie to look and feel attractive is a simple way to light a fire under your love life.  Changing positions is another excellent way to increase your pleasure and to stir things up a bit. The Kama Sutra, or any other manual, can give you ideas for fresh new ways to get entangled with your lover.  Or, take a whole new approach to marriage.  Learn more about Tantra - the art and magic of ecstasy.

It's Not the Destination That Counts

Give each other long, slow, massage. Explore every inch of your partner's body with your fingertips. But refrain from having intercourse.  For married couples in particular, lovemaking without intercourse seems almost illegal, like the beginning of an affair.

Sharing fantasies with no obligation to act on them encourages creative thinking, deepens understanding and intimacy, and helps you imagine each other in new ways.  You'll get in the mood much faster simply because you'll have that hot fantasy ready to spark your libido.

Crazy Stuff

Craziness, ranging from slightly unusual to downright bizarre, is also one way to get your brain and body all fired up.  Role playing, romantic talk, discussion of fantasy are games that will transform any routine marriage into a hot, passionate love affair.

If you like the idea of these games, but have never been a real dramatic type, you can ease into it by wearing clothes/lingerie that you wouldn't normally wear.  Music might also help you to let down your hair and get into the game. Try a red light bulb to add some exotica to your bedroom.  And most importantly, laughing and joking about it will make it easier, without taking the punch out of it.  Teasing and playing is a great way to keep your marriage alive.  (Related article:  Feng Shui for bedroom decoration)

And Most Important... Make It Your Priority

Make time for it - busy as you may be, make lovemaking a top priority in your marriage.  Preferably, increase the frequency of your encounters.  Studies show that lovemaking elevates the levels of brain chemicals associated with desire. So the best way to increase your hunger for it is to have it...

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How to keep my marriage exciting

About the author:  Since 1996 Nisandeh has worked with more than 4,500 people in workshops and individual counseling sessions - dealing with relationships, and intimacy issues.  He is the author of the Art of Lovemaking - a 52-week email course guarantees to bring the passion back into your relationship.