Couples Play - Pleasure Without Penetration

Let me share the tricks of making love leisurely and the importance of play.  For those of you who have not heard of this before - yes it does exist! It's not all about ripping off your clothes, getting it on and BOOM before you know it, ITS OVER!  For decades the emphasis has been on achieving a climax.  Straining to reach the big "O" has taken away the pleasure we are supposed to feel during lovemaking. We concentrate so much on climaxing, that our sensory responses are diminished. Remember, the mind feeds upon the stimulation of all five senses.

There is a consensus of female opinion that men seem to be in a hurry when making love. SLOW DOWN MEN! Why rush pleasure!  Men need to realize that women want to be loved, all over (i.e. from head to toe)!  Start warming each other up on a slow burner and you'll both reach full heat without strain or struggle.  The longer you simmer, the hotter it gets!  When you slow down you are able to fully savor the pleasure of your senses.  You need to TASTE each other, TOUCH each other, SEE each other, HEAR each other and SMELL each other.  This will not only bring you closer, it will also make you want each other more - resulting in an explosive climax.  When lovemaking is primarily play, it should be leisurely and should last from 30 minutes to several hours.

Here are three magical statements, you should say to each other, that will help the both of you to relax and increase your sensations of pleasure:

We Have Got Plenty of Time 
I Enjoy Giving You Pleasure 
Tell Me What You Want Me to Do 

This attitude releases both of you from the pressure of penetrating and performing and creates a much more relaxing atmosphere.  Sensual play is a process that really allows you to explore and get to know one another. The better you know each another, the more there is to love about each other. It is a great way to enjoy intimacy, which is sensual, leisurely and relaxed.

Sensual means a lot of all over kissing, stroking and caressing, so ensure you are fresh, clean and lovable.  A romantic soak in the tub together is a great way to heat things up!  Touch each other at leisure. Do not rush. Don't worry about achieving climax - this is not the goal.  Tell each other exactly where and how you want to be touched. Each one of you has different responses; so explore with each other about what turns you on.  Include all forms of touch, such as stroking, caressing and holding, as well as kissing, nibbling, sucking and licking. It can involve every part of the body and not just the most obvious areas.

For the woman
Any part of your body can become a sensual tool. The sweep of your hair, the soft brush of your body against his body, or the warmth of your breath on his skin will be extremely arousing to him. Trailing your fingertips or nails lightly over his skin will heighten its sensitivity.  Involve your whole body in sensual play, so that even while kissing one part of his body, you are aware of the impact of your thighs, belly and other areas as they press gently against him.

For the man
A woman's whole body, not just her most obvious areas, is an erogenous zone. Take time to let your kisses and touches worship her body. Focus your attention not just on the front of her body, but on her arms, legs and back. Cover her back with kisses, following its sensuous curves and lines. Then stroke and gently squeeze the muscles in her buttocks and thighs so that they become warm and alive.

A woman's body has many surprising and hidden areas of sensitivity. Sensual play allows you to unravel its mysteries, so that you both can discover new and exciting pleasure places. The underarm and armpit can be very responsive to your loving attention. Try rolling your tongue lazily over its soft skin while gently stroking.

Your extended play should give you time to relax together emotionally, as well as becoming aroused. Use these moments of tenderness and touching to enhance your intimate connection.   Do not be afraid to let your states of arousal rise and fall like waves. Once you are in harmony, both physically and emotionally, you can ride those waves together, letting one peak of excitement ebb to give way to another.  Touching, stroking, caressing and eye contact will keep you closely attuned to each other.  Come on, don't waste anymore time. Ecstasy awaits you!  Have Fun!

Recommended links:  Pre-game show for couples     How to charm your husband?    Sexually unsatisfied women

How much time for making love?

About the author:  Since 1996 Nisandeh has worked with more than 4,500 people in workshops and individual counseling sessions - dealing with relationships and intimacy issues.  He is the author of the Art of Lovemaking - a 52-week email course guarantees to bring the passion back into your relationship.