The problem is that we have not even kissed yet!  After we had been out five times, I was a little worried why nothing was happening. I figured he must be shy about making a move on a bold girl like. He says he has not been in a relationship for two years. This seems a little strange to me, as he is obviously quite a catch (in addition to the good points I have mentioned about him, he also has a very glamorous job). So I asked him what did he think of our relationship, and he said he just wanted to be friends for the time being. Also that he does not have time for a girlfriend and that he can't concentrate on his job if he has a girlfriend. 

That is fair enough, but he does not behave like someone who is just a friend. He does not have much free time, but he spends almost all of it with me. His body language strongly indicates that he is attracted to me (he is often "accidentally" touching me, gazes into my eyes a lot, leans on me, or is physically in my personal space). He spends a lot of time writing emails to me. Why would he do all these things if he just wants to be friends? It is not because he is lonely because I know he has many friends who are often calling him. I don't have any reason to think that my "boyfriend" is married or involved with anyone else, at all. There is no evidence of another woman in his car, and he is able to answer my calls or emails at any time without making excuses. He also seems like an honest and trustworthy person. 

I have mentioned this problem to a married female friend of mine. She said that her now-husband did not attempt to touch her for the first six months of their relationship. She finally cracked after six months and initiated physical relations by herself, as she was so tired of waiting for him to make a move. She says some men can be like this if they are very serious about the woman. I am very attracted to him, and sometimes find it difficult to be with him if I can't touch or hold him like I would a boyfriend. I have not tried to kiss him in case he rejects me. Unfortunately he does not drink, so I can't get him drunk and try to seduce him! What should I do?

A reader tells Jo:

He is clearly interested in her and is also shy. He may be trying to find out how she feels exactly. My now husband was the same. It took him seven months to work up the courage to ask me if he could kiss me. Sweet, but by then I was gagging for it. We flirted with texts and emails and they got naughtier by the hour! I finally just asked him where he saw us in five years. He replied he would like to have a stable relationship with me and then asked if it was OK if he kissed me! Now we've been married three years and are very happy. So my advice is just tell him how you feel exactly and ask him if he feels the same. Since it seems the men of old who jumped you before you could blink are a dying breed and men now have a very reserved way of trying to get a woman. Times have changed and men now want us to take the lead and react to how we act. So go ahead and speak out. Tell him how much you are attracted to him and how you want to proceed with the relationship. The worst that can happen is that he is shocked and secretly flattered! If he still persists with that "no time for a girlfriend thing," try the casual girlfriend approach - it soon becomes serious and you both get what you want. Go get him, girl!

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