Jessica
writes, "I have had over half-a-dozen serious
relationships, got
married,
had a
divorce, and have now been
single for two years. I am just tired of the rat
race to
find a man to marry. Should I simply approach a
marriage agency or ask friends/family to
find me
a husband. Will it work?"
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Arranged
marriage is the
norm in many parts of the world. And if one were
to look at the low
divorce rates there (we must admit that women there
also have less
financial freedom and life is extremely difficult for
a divorcee; hence, many
women
simply stay in bad relationships), it is fair to say
that most of them work. In other countries like
Japan, the concept of
omiai
exists - somewhat similar to our blind date, but somewhat
stronger focus on marriage than a
casual date.
In summary, seeking help of others in
finding a spouse is not a foreign concept anywhere in
the world. Many Americans of South Asian origin
(India, Pakistan, etc.), even after being born and
raised here agree to let their parents pick a bride in
their native countries. Some research suggests
that divorce rates in these marriages is very low
(though it can also be attributed to the subordination
of women and challenges of being a divorced woman). |
How to make an
arranged marriage model work for you?
-
Keep an
open mind. You never know what you
gonna get but if you are willing to make the
effort, it can succeed. And we are not
talking of a marriage in which the first time
the
couple really sees each other is the
bedroom after the
wedding; we are simply discussing a scenario
in which you agree to date and marry a person
that others have vetted for you.
-
Any
marriage can fail. Just look at
the 50% divorce rates for marriages that were
supposed to last till death. Every
marriage is a gamble because we are not what
we seem to be and we all change over time.
So chances of your arranged marriage succeeding
are probably as high as any other.
-
Marriage is
work. No matter how close or far
you are
before the wedding day,
marriage requires hard work each and every
day.
Related:
Couples in long marriages |
