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Fear of ending a bad relationship

Sooner or later you will need to do it

Katherine has a boyfriend for over 18 months but the relationship has been off-and-on. Her boyfriend was flirting with her breast friend and they decided to take a break from each other. "During that time, I was totally devastated. I cried constantly, and I missed college because I was depressed. I couldn't eat and found myself not being happy, or laughing, even smiling, because I was so upset. We got back together and things were great for a while but I think the respect has gone in this relationship. If he is annoyed at me he'll call me something offensive, which upsets me.  Every time I tell him, he just doesn't change or even try to change!  He says I do things that annoy him too, but I have really tried to change these. I feel like I am stuck in a dead end relationship but I do not have the guts to end it because I don't want to suffer again (Dysfunctional relationships)! We are best friends, I spend every single day with him and am so comfortable with him otherwise. If only he will change! Please help, I really have no idea what to do! I am unhappy.  I can't seem to talk to anyone about this," she writes.
  Photo of a couple symbolizing a breakupI totally understand your pain because a breakup is very hard on a woman. She thinks that it happened because something was not right with her and that is big blow to her self esteem.

We all wish that people would change - but the reality is that we can't make them do it; people only change when they feel like it. In your case it is obvious that he is not interested in changing for the sake of the relationship.

You have very rightly said that you are stuck in a dead-end relationship, and do you know what is the solution to that? In my opinion - Get out now. I know it is terrifying because you will suffer but it seems that if you stay in it you will suffer longer - or even the rest of your life. If you get out now, yes, you will suffer, but it will be short. Hopefully, a wonderful woman like you will meet someone else and that this relationship will just become a memory.

I think that you have to take pride in who you are and what you are capable of. You cannot define your life around this man. You will have to build your own life and if this man does not fit into it - it is time for him to go. You want to find the man that will fit into YOUR life - not the other way round.

You know you are unhappy and the best thing for you to do is to eliminate the root cause of this unhappiness. And that is as simple as ending this relationship and moving on. Life is too short to waste on losers.

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