Katherine has
a boyfriend
for over 18 months but the relationship has been
off-and-on. Her boyfriend was
flirting with her breast friend and they decided to
take a break from each other. "During that time, I was
totally devastated. I cried constantly, and I missed
college because I was
depressed. I couldn't eat and found myself not being
happy, or laughing, even
smiling,
because I was so upset. We
got back together and things were great for a while
but I think the
respect has gone in this relationship. If he is
annoyed at me he'll call me something offensive, which
upsets me. Every time I tell him, he just doesn't
change or even try to change! He says I do things
that annoy him too, but I have really tried to change
these. I feel like I am
stuck in a
dead end
relationship but I do not have the guts to
end
it because I don't want to suffer again (Dysfunctional
relationships)! We are best
friends, I spend every single day with him and am so
comfortable with him otherwise. If only he will change!
Please help, I really have no idea what to do! I am
unhappy. I can't seem to talk to anyone about this,"
she writes.
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I totally
understand your pain because a
breakup is very hard on a woman. She thinks that it
happened because something was not right with her and that
is
big blow to her self esteem.
We all
wish that people would change - but the reality is that we
can't make them do it; people only change when they feel
like it. In your case it is obvious that he is not
interested in changing for the sake of the relationship. |
You
have very rightly said that you are
stuck in a dead-end relationship, and do you know what
is the solution to that? In my opinion -
Get out
now. I know it is terrifying because you will suffer
but it seems that if you stay in it you will suffer longer
- or even the rest of your life.
If you get out now, yes, you will suffer, but it will
be short. Hopefully, a
wonderful woman like you will
meet someone else and that this
relationship will just become a memory.
I
think that you have to
take pride in who you are and what you are
capable
of. You cannot
define your life around this man. You will
have to build your own life and if this man does
not fit into it - it is time for him to go. You
want to
find the man that will fit into YOUR life -
not the other way round.
You
know you are
unhappy and the best thing for you to
do is to eliminate the root cause of this
unhappiness. And that is as simple as
ending this relationship and
moving on. Life is too short to waste on
losers.
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