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How
to write a personal ad?
It
is very important to write good personals because that is only
thing people see
By Pierre Coda
So
you have made up your mind to put a personal ad, done
your relationship research to identify what websites you will
join, and then posted your message/photo.
But things don’t turn out the way you wanted.
If you are woman, you are probably complaining
that you are getting too many responses from
‘jerks’. If
you are man, you are getting none or few responses to
your requests and no girl is approaching you on her own.
Who do you blame? Very likely you slam the website, cancel your membership, and
try something else or just stay single. Yes, it is possible to some extent that the website(s) that
you joined are not working for you.
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But
did you consider if your personal ad was well written?
Now tell me how many times have you seen an ad on
television that you did not like?
Generally speaking, there are really no bad ads
(after all they are designed by some of the most
creative people in America and are almost always tested
in focus groups); it is just that no ad will be liked by
everyone. The
goal of the marketer is that the ad should be liked by
its target audience.
So if you are not getting any responses, a
possible reason is that you need to change it.
That is the only way someone knows you on the
Internet. If
they don’t like what they read (and what they see, if
you have a photo and/or video clip), chances are they
will keep looking.
Let
me emphasize the importance of doing some hard work even
before you publish your first ad and then the value of
changing your ad over time as you learn from the
results. Here
are some hints on how to conduct research before you
write the ads and then how to write it.
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 Research
prior to writing a personal ad
Think
of your ad as your résumé or brochure or advertising
copy. If
you have never written one of these, do not be
discouraged. While
you might want to consider professional help in writing
a personal, you can always try to write one on your own.
Like a résumé, the goal of an ad is to raise
the level of interest.
So while you cannot lie, you have all the right
to highlight your positives.
If you are overweight or short or not
so great-looking, focus on the positives – whatever they
are. Maybe
you play a
musical instrument well or are passionate
about sailing or have great smile; these are the kinds
of things to highlight in your ad.
At several online dating websites you have
an opportunity to take a few personality tests to know
more about you. You
will be surprised to know how much you did not know
about you. Do
the tests diligently and honestly.
(Related article: Online
dating techniques)
Compare
yourself against people that you know well.
Now try to write down what makes you different.
We all have something that makes us so distinct.
When people think about you, what do they say?
If you do not know, ask them. (Related
article: Online
dating safety)
I
also
like to find out what the opposite sex thinks about me.
If you have ever been in a relationship before,
try to think what she or he told you.
Why did she or he like you?
These are the attributes that attract the
opposite sex to you.
If you have never been in a relationship before,
you can still ask your friends and family members.
It is good to get feedback from anyone you can.
Even when your mother tells you that you are very
patient and care for others around you, it is important
to take note of it since this is a quality that everyone
values in a relationship. Let’s
say that you find nothing exciting about you and you are
convinced that you are an average Jane or Joe.
No, that is not a problem.
In fact, vast majority of us fall into that
category. Ever
heard about the bell curve?
So another way to make your ad interesting is to
talk about things that you really want from
life.
Now remember that you should be serious about it
and willing to prove later on to the person you end up
meeting that you meant what you said before.
For example, you are not an avid fan of pottery
making but have always been fascinated by how you can
turn mud into something so artistic.
You have often wondered what it is like to make
pottery and then paint it.
You have even bought some pottery at local fairs.
You also know that people who have a passion for
pottery are creative, patient, and artistic – someone
you would love to date.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with writing
that you are seriously interested in pottery and would
love to meet someone who is willing to teach you.
This can apply to almost anything.
What people are looking for are
common interests,
not necessarily experts.
(Related:
Online dating mistakes)
Writing the ad
While
I said that it is good to highlight your positives in
your ad, do not ever lie.
If the profile requires you to mention your
height, weight, etc., be accurate. No one likes dishonesty and you will go nowhere by misleading
anyone.
(Related article: Must-haves
in a partner)
Try
to be approachable.
I found my wife through a personal ad and the
only reason I responded to her was that I found her to
be so approachable and welcoming.
I shared only few interests with her and it was
not a perfect
match, but we developed a great
relationship and are now happily married.
Make
yourself stand out by mentioning what makes YOU who you
are. While
it is only an ad, most people want to know the person
behind the ad. So
if you can make it as personal as possible, people will
understand who you are rather than think of you as slick
salesperson trying to market her/his wares.
Recommended links: Women win in
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to find a lesbian relationship
Creative
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