• Total lack of self-confidence in front of the opposite gender.  These are men who have grown up either in a single parent household or without a sister (Yes, trust me on this one.  Being with female family members teaches you the basics of treating women with respect and learning more about them in a less stressful environment.)   (Related article:  Self confidence in men)
• Lack of class.  It could be something as simple as not knowing how to dress or eat but it could even include not being able to engage a woman in a conversation and hold her attention for an extended period of time.  If you are not an interesting person (and do not have new information to share with a person), you are unlikely to be perceived as fun by anyone.
• Lack of creativity in how to approach women.  As Mike Pilinski, the romance expert, says, “The idea that you are going to walk up to some great looking woman, reeking of low male status, and stammer out some magical pick up line, that you read in a book somewhere, that will somehow force her to overlook the fountain of deadly negative vibes you are otherwise broadcasting is flat out ridiculous.”  When you approach a woman and it is not a memorable moment for her, you will soon be forgotten.
• Not knowing how to stop being a nice guy and becoming a potential mate.  I have worked with many men who just could not find women to date.  When they tried to be ‘nice’, girls would end up talking about them as being ‘so nice’ but then went home with someone else.  This was actually good news to me as their advisor because they had succeeded in at least attracting women to them.  The next step in their training was helping them beyond being a ‘nice and/or cute guy’ to being a potential mate.  A client of mine was actually so popular that he was known as the ‘life of a party’ all over town and got invited to almost every party but was still single.  His phone would constantly ring but the callers were not women who wanted to date him.  They just wanted him at their party so that he could entertain everyone for free.

The secrets to overcoming these deficiencies and increasing your chances to succeeding with women are listed below.  Of course, these are only broad guidelines since you have got to find your own style so that it does not come across as ‘artificial’ or ‘learned’.  You might want to work with an advisor who can help you develop your own style and help you improve it as you practice.   

• If you have not had many opportunities to interact with women, either because you went to a boys-only school, or had no sister/mother at home, or just feel simply uncomfortable in front of the opposite sex, start off by finding opportunities of being with lots of women without the pressure of dating or having any of the usual tensions associated with dating.  I recommend my clients to find places to work with lots of female employees, join voluntary groups that attract women, or find something to do in places frequented by women.  Eventually, you will start to feel comfortable in presence of women, and then, you can even flirt with them without fear of being rejected.  After all you are only practicing.  Then you can go out in the real world and go after them with new self-confidence.
• Class is acquired over a period of time and can be determined by what school you went to, what your parents taught you, and where you work.  But you can learn it too.  And there is a lot of help out there with personal coaches, books, and training schools.
• Develop a personality.  If you do not have a unique personality, you must develop an inventory of your attributes and then decide which ones are not so common.  Use them to develop your own unique style.  You do not need to totally stand out, but you should be memorable to someone who meets you for the first time.  When you introduce yourself while approaching a woman, make sure that you do not come across as a pathetic loser who does not know how to behave in front of a pretty woman.  Be confident, natural, and creative – and very likely, she will like you for who you are. 
• Finally, don’t be just a nice guy.  Remember your goal is not to be just nice but to get to the next date and eventually a relationship.  The secret is that unless a woman wants only a one-night stand, she evaluates every man through one single test:  Is this man capable of being my husband?  She may have no intention of ever marrying you but that is how she is likely to evaluate you.  Dozens of women that I have interviewed have told me that even when they are evaluating men for totally non-romantic relationships (e.g. business relationships, team members, etc.) they still use the same lenses.

Recommended links:  How to succeed at dating?     Rules for relationships with men    How to seduce women?   Why am I still single

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