However,
in the Western US where I grew up, there was only one or
two
ways for a man to be. I never fit into either, even if I tried.
Even
when I discovered other sub-cultures, such as Goths,
skater punk, or whatever, I never fit into any of those.
I was either too clean and coordinated, or never
effeminate enough.
It wasn't until I left the US for the UK that I
realized what the problem was.
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You
see, the British have a word for it: "camp".
It means flamboyant, very fashion conscious, sensitive,
and many other aspects typically associated with gay
men. But in the UK, "camp" does not mean
"gay", nor does "gay" mean
"camp". I have met several flamboyant men over here who were
completely straight. And conversely, I have met many men
over here who I had no idea they were gay until they
introduced me to their boyfriend.
It
seems the problem with metrosexuality is very much a
cultural phenomenon. The Americans have always been an
extremely macho
culture, and any deviation from machismo
is traditionally looked at as weakness. Conversely,
there has been a long tradition of androgynous men in
Britain and Japan.
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That
the British produced David Beckham first comes as no
surprise to me now for this reason. Nor does the fact
the bishonen of Japan were the first to portray
this. I'm
skeptical about this being much more than a trend in
America, but I'm hoping it isn't. Because this niche
makes the scene for "nice guys" like me a hell
of a lot easier to work with.
I know for sure that Americans are still
struggling with this trend.
During
my recent travels through the United States, I had a
chance to discuss this with both men and women.
Surprisingly, I found that many men found the
concept of metrosexual very appealing and most women
were thrilled to hear me discuss it.
But there were some women who almost wanted to
kill me for even suggesting it as a topic of discussion.
One particularly strong comment came from, Alice,
a woman who is happy in her role as the lady of the
house who cooks and cleans.
She is happy in the clear demarcation of the
sexes, " I'm proud of my manly man. He sprays
himself with Emporia Armani in the morning, slips on his
Kenneth Cole getup, washes his face, heads to work,
comes home, plays some basketball with the fellas, and
dinner is on the table for him. He supports his family
and I know that if I needed protection, his strong arms
could cover me. He speaks softly, but his words are
assuring and comfortable. He is a leader, not a
follower. He is the head of the household, the King,
with his Queen by his side. Is he my best friend? Of
course! Can I talk to him about my deepest feelings?
Yes! Does he love his mother? Of course he does, what
man doesn't! Does he wear makeup? Never! Paint his
nails? Hell no! Wear
lipstick? Get real!
Shave his
legs? Never. Use
politically correct gender blurring phrases like
"It is so wonderful to have a human like you by my
side"; Please! And I wouldn't have it any other
way!"
But
overall, I was encouraged to see that clothing in men's
departments in the stores is flashier and is staring to
look more like what you see in a London department
store. I
even got a chance to read a book by Patrick Chong called
the "Metrosexual
Myth" that has been a bestseller in America.
What the author is basically suggesting is a
complete change of lifestyle, and not just looks or
demeanor. I
think the book is really well written with the
American
man in mind and strongly recommended for all those men
who would like to score big with the new American
woman.
If you would rather be dating Alice, then do the
opposite of everything the book, or anyone of the
thousands of metrosexual men, suggests.
Related article: Metrosexual
lifestyle
