Attractive personality of women
Charming, self-confident, and inscrutable women desired by men

By Alister McMahon (Excerpts from personal diary over a two-year period)

Continued from: Flirting with Japanese English students

Last night, she once again asked me to watch a DVD film with her on the small screen portable she brought with her. We once again sat up close and I put my arm loosely around her shoulders. The film finished, she said good night happily and everything seemed fine. But, tonight she told me that if a Japanese teacher had his put his arm around her like I did, it would be considered harassment! I'm pretty upset by this especially as she was the one who suggested we repeat the experience from the previous evening.

The second shock was from my 28-year old email friend from Osaka. She's the one who was raped and had an abortion without telling her parents. This is what she wrote today, "My marriage was non-physical. I wasn't attracted to my husband, but I loved him and admired him for his personality. I think my bitter experience at an early age affected my marriage and other relationships I had with men. The only relationship that lasted and really made me feel comfortable was with a woman. I felt safe and relaxed with her emotionally and physically. Please don't think I'm a freak. I don't consider myself that."

An excellent day out with Keiko yesterday with a trip to Hampton Court Palace. We went there by riverboat. She asked the skipper to take a photo of us together. I put my arm around her shoulders and she first attempted to put her arm around my waist then let it droop loosely around my back. She was happy and animated during the trip and she once again taught me how to cook Japanese food in the evening. We said goodnight with much eye holding. Some strong emotion was being expressed but mostly through her eyes.

~

Well, Keiko leaves today and I will miss her. The two Cuban ladies arrive on Sunday. I've just received an email from an ex-student Chika about her friend Mari who's coming to stay here at the end of September, "She will be your good company when you go for walk. Mari is a boyish type of woman. I've never seen her in a skirt. She is not a person who smiles to everyone, so you might think she is not so friendly at first, but once you and Mari become friends; you'll find how interesting she is. She has a good sense of humor." 

I had also asked Chika to explain to me about the Japanese concept of space. She tells me, "We Japanese don't sit so close to anybody when we have enough space. I sat at a distance from you, but it didn't mean 'Stay away from me'. So I am kind of surprised what you said. That's a cross-cultural misunderstanding. Sorry I couldn't follow the rule 'When in Rome…' I think we should have talk about this subject during my stay.

~  

Just had a phone call from the language school that sent Keiko, "Absolutely glowing report. One of the best we've ever seen!" So, the snatched kiss and ' harassment' (arm around her shoulders) didn't worry Keiko that much.

~

Chizu told me that her young American teachers have a habit of opening their arms to the female students for a hug. Chizu says, "We know that is their custom so we don't mind so much." Oh, gullible young women! How many cute Japanese bodies are squashed against manly gaijin chests because the poor girls believe they must be polite at all costs?

Well, on Sunday, I will have three young women here, two Cubans and a Japanese. It'll be bloody hard work but I'll manage somehow. You'd never believe this was just a two-bedroom house. Mari, the tomboy Japanese will arrive and be ushered up to my room. I will tell her plaintively that I must share with my wife who normally sleeps alone because she goes to bed around 8 PM and shouldn't be disturbed; will she offer to share my double bed?

I have just read the emails again and apparently she may stay here for three months. To be honest, when Chizu said Mari were looking for a place to stay, I just offered without reading any further details. Funny, isn't it, the two Cubans are so cute yet it doesn't occur to me to fancy them. Once again, what is it about the Japanese that, after a day or so in their company, I'm pathetically and abjectly in love with them? Perhaps it's a strange pheromone they give off. I sprayed myself with the male version and Miki and Keiko were both happy enough close-up on the sofa. I even sprayed my aftershave on Keiko's pillow hoping it would induce dreams with NLP-type connections in her psyche. It's quite possible my addiction has made me quite crazy and a little insane.

~

Well, 3 young women here now, two Cubans, and one Japanese. It's a lot of fun but I go to bed exhausted every night. Mari, 31 from Tokyo (where else?) is likeable and quite tiny. I'm keeping an eye on a friend's house whilst he's in Belgrade so I've put Mari in there. She gave me a nice hug when we met and has a good level of English so conversation is easy. She's busy reading American books about the inscrutable and fascinating Japanese at the moment. She said, "Oh! I didn't know that. These books are very educational; I learn a lot about Japan!" She also said, "I've brought a skirt to wear because Chika told me I should."

I am still waiting for the moment when she suddenly appears irresistible. It always happens to me when I'm with a Japanese woman for more than a few days. The Cubans are both very cute and a lot of fun but I'm happily relaxed with no desires, repressed or otherwise.

~

Mari has a decision to make on Saturday, whether to stay at my friends or take up the room vacated by the Cubans. I'm happy with the very-funny-and-full-of-life Cubans and the shy-but-interesting Japanese. I get so exhausted though with all this youthful energy that I'm sleeping around 9 hours a night.

The Cuban girls are leaving Saturday so I'm interested to know if Mari wants to move in to the vacated student's room or would prefer to remain staying in my 83 year old friend's house. Some competition! The Japanese love eccentric people - I guess it's because they admire individual expressionism, something they are often denied back home.

Mari is very friendly and happy to talk but, of course, the Cubans are always around. Mari says she's very happy here; she starts her English course in Central London next Monday. So, where is she going to sleep? That is the question!

~

Well, Mari's made her choice and is now here. Kate tried hard to get her to stay at his/her place but she was adamant, she wants to stay in my student's room. Long chat with her tonight. Some exciting if fleeting little hugs. She is not averse to touching but I don't want to push it. She's given up her job and come here for a few months to 'find herself', if I understand her correctly.

It's funny but she looks so much more attractive than when she first arrived; earrings, make-up and a warm manner have raised my interest considerably. Your advice - how do I tell from her signals whether she is waiting for me to move things along a bit?   I said, "I want to hug you. Is it OK?" Mari replied, "Yes, sure."  Many warm hugs and I kiss her hand and on the cheek. She is very happy here. Intimacy is not on the cards as yet but it's certainly very exciting at times in her company until gone midnight. Last night, she was dressed in a figure-hugging black shirt and black pants. Very fetching!

I asked Mari today about her getting a job in London and staying here, but she replied that she wants to spend the rest of her life in Japan. So, I guess she's a non-starter as my new family member. I'd better concentrate on any short-term options that may be available. Marlene from Havana is coming here for the foreseeable future if she gets a visa and therefore escapes what she calls the 'prison' of Cuba. She is 30, very attractive, extremely likeable and really good fun. I fancied her like crazy when she stayed here before.

Miho, the one who gave me her cherry, was going to live here but she found a boyfriend in Japan and dumped the idea. Similarly, Mari is not going to be a permanent fixture either. I'd love to get closer to Mari but it kind of cooled tonight. She really shows no sign of wanting to be touched so courtesy dictates that I don't try.  I found before that my adopting a very laid-back manner towards her seemed to encourage a degree of intimacy, but I think I tried too hard today. She's here for another two months so there's plenty of time yet.

We are going to the theatre next week and I paid for her ticket with the message, "Just to say thank you for being such a very cute houseguest." Her reaction was, "Waaah! Thank you!" Then nothing...

I strongly believe that she knows I'm trying to pull her and she just isn't interested. It happens and it's no surprise when such an age gap exists.  I won't get anywhere by continuing to seek her favor. It almost as though a certain diffidence from me would be more productive. I'm also getting very tired of all the rather forced conversations we have.   (Related article:  Starting small talk with a perfect stranger in a public place)

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