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How
to find a casual relationship?
Sometimes
a woman just does not want to have a steady relationship
By Pierre Coda
Is casual romance
on the mind of a woman when she
goes on business trips or leisure
travel? Do women feel and behave differently when they are all by themselves away from home, from family members, in a place where no one might know them?
(Related article: How
to manage casual relationships?)
The answer to this is probably is "it all depends" but there is one common thread that emerged in our research. Women do feel a lot more liberated than they would if they were in their hometown. When a woman goes
shopping in the local mall or is just hanging out in her area, she is often busy, is concerned about being watched, and just does not feel the same sense of freedom that she does when she is in a totally new place, particularly overseas. No wonder there are so many movies and books with the theme.
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I don't think that women are thinking about
romance when they are traveling. There is always a different approach to life when we know that it is definitely going to end. I guess we tend to enjoy those things more that we know for sure will not last after a definite point in time. In fact, the shorter the time to the end, higher the pleasure. Thus, when women travel overseas and if they meet someone that they like they are likely to take liberties - there is curiosity
("Oh I have heard a lot about these passionate Latin
men; why not check one out while I am in
Mexico?"), there is time and money (after all they are vacationing), they might be lonely (if not traveling with
spouse/companion), there is privacy, and they know that it cannot come to haunt them. Plus, we all enjoy the excitement of being with a perfect stranger and doing the most intimate things, because it is lust in its raw form. |
As Patricia indicated to me, " Yes, every girl fantasizes about foreign men when you're in a foreign country without the company of others. Mind wanders, of course. I behave more or less the same, but sometimes I behave differently depending on who I'm with." Most women I spoke to agreed that they are likely to be a little more liberal in their behavior when they are alone and have the privacy that is not afforded in their hometown.
Advice to women: How to find the right men?
Be careful in a foreign city. Use guidebooks,
search the Internet, and talk to people who have been there before to make sure that you are safe and do not venture into dangerous areas. But assuming that you have taken care of those things, I would say that you should still stay close to your hotel or if your hotel has a nice bar or restaurant, it is best to hang out there. Additionally, depending on the place, you might also meet some interesting people on the beach (if your hotel has a
private
beach) or the pool. That is why it is better to stay in a resort. That way if you want some privacy, you can bring him
(or her) to your room and you are in your
own territory, in control of the situation. You can also call the hotel staff for help in case something goes wrong. Of course, you can throw the person out of your room any time you wish. If everything goes well, you should politely say goodbye, and unless the experience was so good that you would like to repeat it, it is best not to meet again and move on to the next target.
Advice to men: How to find the out-of-towners?
You must research the local hotels to find out which one suits your requirements. While tourist towns are the best, even cities with a lot of business conferences can be good targets. In fact, even dull cities with lots of business visitors are fair game too. Most hotels will typically allow you to join their health clubs for a membership fee. So join the health club. That way you have an excuse to go there regularly and once in a while you will get lucky. Alternatively, the restaurants in the hotels allow the general public as well. It is best to
go to the bar instead where you are more likely to find women eating alone on the counter. Plus, you don't need a reservation and can leave right away if you see that the bar is deserted. Be polite, do not try to hit directly, and there is no need to lie. Say directly that you like to meet new people and sometimes find it interesting to visit the restaurant so that you can chat with people from different parts of the world. In the exercise room or the swimming pool, no excuse is needed on why you are there - you just
need an excuse to strike a
conversation. Since you are the local, you must assume the role of a pseudo-host; that would give you an opportunity to pamper the guest. If you succeed, from then on, just treat it as a
one-night stand because she knows that this is what it is. So do not embarrass her by asking for her phone number or proposing to stay in touch forever. Related articles: It
may be OK to lie when you are seeking a casual relationship
Japanese concepts
of renai and seiai
Rules
for relationships with men Why
people do not find a relationship?
End casual relationship
Carla Bruni is
polyamorous |