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Experience
is not always a disadvantage in relationship
Use
it to your advantage
By Thomas Burger
My
experience with an older Japanese woman (well an
Okinawan woman, because I think that they are a class of
their own) was really a one-time affair. I met her at
the Apple House club in Okinawa city.
I was at the time just 19. I just walked past her
and said hello, and asked her to
dance in the bar that I
was hanging out. She
danced with me as if she were a professional.
While I was not particularly good at dancing, she
just let me follow her step and we had a good time.
As we danced for a while, between breaks we
started to talk. She
was a little uncomfortable about my age and what other
people in the bar were thinking since she was 34.
I had merely been thinking of her as a dance
partner so I wasn't embarrassed in any way.
In any case she was very hot and I saw many other
men admiring her and looking at me with envy.
To me that was the ultimate – to be with an
older woman.
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I
can't remember much of the conversation, having been
partying all night and consuming far too many drinks.
I was not a usual dancer so after a while I was
getting tired too.
What I liked most about her was to chat with her
during the breaks.
Since she was alone, and not giggly like the
young Okinawan girls that I used to hang out with on
other occasions, we actually had a different type of
conversation. I
was the listener and she was the animated talker as she
told me all sorts of interesting stories about her
travels. What
I do remember noticing was her constant comments that I
was too young for her implying that it as kind of me to
dance with her. She
was begging her to stay, in a not so begging way but
when I suggested that I was tired to dance anymore and
should leave, she almost grabbed my arm and pleaded with
me to stay.
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older women want younger men) |
 Flattering
her to the extreme it was clear that she seemed to like
me very much. She had a sweet face that did show her age,
but she was indeed very pretty.
She did ask me about my family, and New
York,
where I am from, and about what I was doing in the
Marines. We danced some more than we left the club. I
really wanted to go somewhere else with her, but as we
left the club, I kind of played it off like "Well I
guess this is goodnight", as I was making my way to
the cabs that were lined up outside the club.
And it worked.
She asked me if I wanted to go somewhere else. I
immediately agreed though it was good that the proposal
came from her. We
walked to her car and then we went to a little
Japanese-style bar not too far away. We had a few drinks together.
As we started to tease each other, I made a good
comment about her lips and touched her face gently.
As she closed her eyes for a moment and then
looked deep into my eyes with desire, I kissed her and
she let me. A 19 year old kissing a 34 year
old! What a
shot for the ego! What a great kisser she was!
What ignited my passion even more was her remarks
about me, "You are a baby" and I remember
saying. “It is OK, mommy.”
We
left the bar after some more necking and patting and I
asked her for a ride back to Camp Foster.
While I wanted something else, I still kept
acting as a scared teenager.
I wanted her to think that I wanted to go home
and was not really desiring her.
Somewhat doubtful, she asked me if I wanted to go
to Sunabe Seawall, an area popular among couples for
romantic walks. I was still playing the reluctant lover
and said, "I don't know; it is kind of getting
late". I
think by not sounding desperate or aggressive, I came
across as a gentle person and she felt more in control.
I wanted her to feel young in front of me and
make her feel good about herself that she could seduce
even a teenager.
She just grabbed my arm at this point and off we
went.
We
walked along the wall.
It was a cool night and as we walked close to
each other, we started holding each other and kissing.
Then we went back to her car and sat down in the
back seat. We
continued to kiss passionately and she was now more
aggressive in kissing me since we were now inside the
car and there was not a soul in sight.
In
this case, she was acting with confidence that only a
person with tremendous experience can have.
I knew this was new to me.
Now I realized what people mean when they say
that ‘experience matters’.
She
then took me back to base, we said our goodbyes, and I
asked her to meet me again at the Apple House. She
agreed at that time. During several visits after that to the bar, I never saw her
again. I
was a little upset, and I continued to go there on
Friday and Saturday night for many more weeks until I
gave up in frustration.
Then
I met one of those giggly 19-year old Okinawa girls who
I dated until I left for the United States.
I still have not been able to get the older women
out of my mind after more than a decade.
The experience made such a remarkable impact on
me that now I am interested in older women as much as in
women my age.
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