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Experience is not always a disadvantage in relationship
Use it to your advantage

By Thomas Burger

My experience with an older Japanese woman (well an Okinawan woman, because I think that they are a class of their own) was really a one-time affair. I met her at the Apple House club in Okinawa city.  I was at the time just 19. I just walked past her and said hello, and asked her to dance in the bar that I was hanging out.  She danced with me as if she were a professional.  While I was not particularly good at dancing, she just let me follow her step and we had a good time.  As we danced for a while, between breaks we started to talk.  She was a little uncomfortable about my age and what other people in the bar were thinking since she was 34.  I had merely been thinking of her as a dance partner so I wasn't embarrassed in any way.  In any case she was very hot and I saw many other men admiring her and looking at me with envy.  To me that was the ultimate – to be with an older woman.

  I can't remember much of the conversation, having been partying all night and consuming far too many drinks.  I was not a usual dancer so after a while I was getting tired too.  What I liked most about her was to chat with her during the breaks.  Since she was alone, and not giggly like the young Okinawan girls that I used to hang out with on other occasions, we actually had a different type of conversation.  I was the listener and she was the animated talker as she told me all sorts of interesting stories about her travels.  What I do remember noticing was her constant comments that I was too young for her implying that it as kind of me to dance with her.  She was begging her to stay, in a not so begging way but when I suggested that I was tired to dance anymore and should leave, she almost grabbed my arm and pleaded with me to stay.  (Related:  When do older women want younger men)

Photo of a heart drawn in sand by a romantic couple on a date on the beachFlattering her to the extreme it was clear that she seemed to like me very much. She had a sweet face that did show her age, but she was indeed very pretty.  She did ask me about my family, and New York, where I am from, and about what I was doing in the Marines. We danced some more than we left the club. I really wanted to go somewhere else with her, but as we left the club, I kind of played it off like "Well I guess this is goodnight", as I was making my way to the cabs that were lined up outside the club.  And it worked.  She asked me if I wanted to go somewhere else. I immediately agreed though it was good that the proposal came from her.  We walked to her car and then we went to a little Japanese-style bar not too far away.  We had a few drinks together.  As we started to tease each other, I made a good comment about her lips and touched her face gently.  As she closed her eyes for a moment and then looked deep into my eyes with desire, I kissed her and she let me. A 19 year old  kissing a 34 year old!  What a shot for the ego! What a great kisser she was!  What ignited my passion even more was her remarks about me, "You are a baby" and I remember saying. “It is OK, mommy.”

We left the bar after some more necking and patting and I asked her for a ride back to Camp Foster.  While I wanted something else, I still kept acting as a scared teenager.  I wanted her to think that I wanted to go home and was not really desiring her.  Somewhat doubtful, she asked me if I wanted to go to Sunabe Seawall, an area popular among couples for romantic walks. I was still playing the reluctant lover and said, "I don't know; it is kind of getting late".  I think by not sounding desperate or aggressive, I came across as a gentle person and she felt more in control.  I wanted her to feel young in front of me and make her feel good about herself that she could seduce even a teenager.   She just grabbed my arm at this point and off we went.

We walked along the wall.  It was a cool night and as we walked close to each other, we started holding each other and kissing.  Then we went back to her car and sat down in the back seat.  We continued to kiss passionately and she was now more aggressive in kissing me since we were now inside the car and there was not a soul in sight.   In this case, she was acting with confidence that only a person with tremendous experience can have.  I knew this was new to me.  Now I realized what people mean when they say that ‘experience matters’.   

She then took me back to base, we said our goodbyes, and I asked her to meet me again at the Apple House. She agreed at that time.  During several visits after that to the bar, I never saw her again.  I was a little upset, and I continued to go there on Friday and Saturday night for many more weeks until I gave up in frustration.

Then I met one of those giggly 19-year old Okinawa girls who I dated until I left for the United States.  I still have not been able to get the older women out of my mind after more than a decade.  The experience made such a remarkable impact on me that now I am interested in older women as much as in women my age.  

Recommended links:  Mature woman, younger man    Women attracted to older men

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