ast week I was in one of my favorite bars with my friend Frank. Now Frank is someone who's always wanted to meet beautiful women, but could never understand how.  Like most guys, I think.  So we were sitting there, and I was explaining how seduction works, and why looks really don't matter as long as you have skill. But all he heard me say was that looks don't matter, and missed the part about the skills being needed.  So Frank got upset and started ranting and raving about how he's asked many women out, and they always say no, and how no woman who is beautiful is going to want to be with a guy who looks average.

Well, God must have been listening in on our conversation, because 15 seconds later, in walks this absolutely stunning brunette. She had it all: legs, body, long flowing hair, and she moved very gracefully. She obviously knew she was hot.  I got excited, because I was getting ready to go talk to her. So Frank and I are watching her walk across the room, and she walks RIGHT up to this guy who was obviously her boyfriend, and hugs and kisses him.  Well Frank's jaw hit the floor, because the guy was easily 10 years older than her, and he looked like just your average guy in his mid 30's. He was losing some hair, had a potbelly, and dressed average. There was nothing unique about the way this guy looked at all. (Related article:  Younger women dating mature men)

So Frank and I watched this couple as their friends joined them for drinks over the course of the night. Eventually I was so curious, I decided to find a way to make conversation with these people. I had to find out what this guy was like, and I wanted to show Frank too.  Ten minutes later I was chatting with him and his girlfriend (I confirmed that she was his girlfriend), and Frank and I were blown away by his personality!  He was cracking jokes, telling stories, and just generally entertaining the whole group. Everyone seemed really comfortable around him, and his girlfriend was obviously in love with this man. (Related: Successful men)

Later that night, Frank and I were talking and he said, "You know Sebastian, if that plain looking guy can get women just with his personality, I can too!"  In that night, his entire perspective changed, because he saw with his own eyes that it was possible to have what he wanted. He knew it was possible, because he saw someone else who was uglier than him but who had a woman that was better looking than anyone Frank ever dated.  Now here's the thing. Frank could have always gotten women, but what stood in his way was a Limiting Belief about women. This might be what's going on with you. In fact, I'm willing to bet that if you're not getting what you want in terms of women right now, it's because you're probably getting in your OWN way.  

So what can you do?

You must first learn how to break down the mental barriers that are holding you back from getting the women that you DESERVE!  In fact this is true for life in general.  In most cases, we create our own barriers and hold ourselves from achieving success in what we want.  If you look at the winners in business or community or politics, it is not always the smartest or the hardest-working folks who win; it is those folks who think positively, do not hold off just because they don’t have this or that, and just do it.  Here are a few things to try if you wish to succeed in your life (more tips on romance techniques are here):  

1. Write down a list of all the strengths that you have.  They don’t always have to be related to your being a romantic person.  For example, you might know a lot about taking care of your yard, grow great looking grass and flowers, and will never think that this could result in success with women.  That is simply not true; in fact, you could use this to your advantage.  You could even list it in your personal ad (tips on writing a personal ad), mention it when you talk to a prospect, invite her to visit your garden and tell her a thing or two about gardening and Nature.
2. Pick three things at which you have failed in the past.  These could be anything:  professional, personal, hobby, etc.  Now be a consultant to yourself and objectively analyze why you failed and why others succeeded.  Do you really think that you were so inferior to others that you could not have overcome the deficiency?  Or were you just focusing too much on your ‘perceived’ weaknesses?  It does not matter what strengths and weaknesses you have; what really separates winners from losers is what winners are able to do with the strengths that they have.
3. American society loves successful people.  We admire courageous and bold people who can take what they got and run with it.  We have no patience and respect for those who whine and complain and bitch all the time.  On the other hand, we eulogize folks who overcome all sorts of barriers to achieve success (no matter how small).

So move your ass, stop whining, and go do something with your strengths.