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No matter how much we evolve and how much better we develop an understanding of the human brain, it is still not easy for men and women to perfectly understand each other. I sometimes wonder what would life be like if we could read the other person's mind. Sounds scary, but it will also solve a lot of unnecessary problems.
For instance, not being able to figure out when a person is romantically interested in you. Cara is one such woman who is trying to figure out if Jason - the guy she meets on the commuter train so often - wants something more than just
teasing her and being
playful. "He's married, and so am I, but started coming on to me first -- and big time sometimes. The flirting, joking around seemed to increase as I did not protest loudly. I am attracted to this guy. It seems as though he is to me also. But then -- he "disappears" for a while. I don't see him at all. Every time he comes back it seems he increases the "come on" a little. I have been trying recently to just be "nice" but to sort of "back off" from him because this roller coaster of
"come on, come off" is really hurting me. I could really connect with this guy
because I am really attracted to him, very vulnerable at this point since I am in a
dysfunctional marriage -- but I don't want any more hurt than I already have from my marriage. I want and need this man badly -- maybe he does me too -- but he keeps playing "on & off" with me," she says.
I have a feeling that
one of the two things is happening.
- He is
a big flirt and simply gets a kick out of
flirting with you and anyone else who will play
the game with him. He might very well be
perfectly happy with his relationship. He may be
a man addicted to harmless flirting and does not
even think about it much except as entertainment
while he is on the train. If that is the case,
then just have fun playing with him and do not
take him seriously.
- He is testing in a very
shrewd manner if you are interested in him as
much as he is. Maybe you have not given him the
right signals yet and may have even given him
the wrong message by backing off. If you tell
him exactly what you told me, he might very
leave everything for you.
So how do you find out what is really going on? Why don't you respond positively to his flirting and then make your move, that is, take this flirting to the next level - a "date."
Do it in a manner that if he is totally caught by surprise, you can get out of it without any embarrassment - since you have also been flirting with him all this time
If he agrees to have a "date," find out what you are both looking for and if there is anything that makes it worthwhile for you to proceed further.
Recommended articles: Ideas
for relatively inexpensive and casual dates
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First date ideas from April Masini |
