How to get rid of jealousy?
Negative effect of jealousy on relationships

By Imfwama Wotela  (Previous articles:  Jealousy can destroy relationships and Insecurity is the sister of jealousy)

Jealousy, when not dealt with, will cause you to destroy lives.

• Make others go to the extent of getting charms to kill a lady in order to get her husband when they see her home is stable.
• Cause your best friend to get jealous and make up a story just to destroy your relationship because you are happy and she is not so that you speak the same language. She will convince you that good relationships don’t exist.  (Related article:  Jealousy is not helpful in relationships)
• In the office when you workmate is promoted and the boss is proud of them, you pretend to rejoice with them but deep down it hurts you. As soon as that happens, you are stained, and before you know it, you start planning their destruction even if it means lying, just to get them out of the way.
• Will cause a leader not to want his/her juniors to go ahead in life e.g. deny them time to go to evening class, access to car loans, deny them in-house training and access to business trips abroad. Just because he wants them to be stagnant and not to enjoy the privileges that he has enjoyed.
• Tell an uncle not to pay school fees for his nephew (who is an orphan) who has made it to university because his own kids keep failing in school. 
• Not allow a wife is to work or further her education. Jealousy causes you to destroy somebody’s dreams.
• Will tell you she is beautiful and she thinks she is it. So she qualifies to become your enemy.
• Say she always gets A+ she thinks she is the greatest. I will fix her.
• Others scroll down their partner’s cell phones to see who they were calling, or go through drawers, handbags, etc
• Makes you jealous when your mate waves, hugs or greets the opposite sex. 
• Makes you level false accusations and trigger a fight and you will spend the whole night fighting on the topic “Who was that?” or “Why was she/he so glad to see you?”
• Shut your eyes when you see someone who was up go down and they come to you asking for help.

All because of jealousy and insecurity. It’s deadly and we must not allow it to stain our lives as it consumes our time, occupies our lives in order to bring about destruction not only in other peoples lives but ours too in the end. People who fail in life become engineers or authors of jealousy and destruction. Beware of such people; before you know it, you will start to agree with them and then get stained!

Words of wisdom

Your thoughts, dreams, hopes are not exactly like your partner. We human beings are all different! What I like you may not like and the opposite is true. My principles may not necessarily be like yours either. You cannot manage chasing and checking up on an adult human. It’s not possible! Only children are treated that way and need a chaperon. It will weigh you down and waste your time and above all it’s stressful! 

That is why you should be cautious who you date and choose to be your life partner. When you know each other, it’s easy to lead normal lives. As both of you are convinced you are meant for each other and certain you would make sure that nothing comes between you. Moreover, adults need to learn to be honest, sincere and trustworthy. 

One thing I know is that if you spend you life doing wrong, it will come back to you. One day you are going to answer for your actions. Whatever you are going to plant, you will reap the rewards and the punishment. If it’s good seed, then you will get a good fruit; if it is a bad seed, then you should not be surprised to get a bad fruit. Life just has a way of dealing with certain situations. If something goes wrong I believe adults talk and make decisions. If the best decision is to break up, then do it, and if it’s ‘mend and make up’ then do it. Nobody needs to remind an adult about faithfulness. If he disobeys remember he had a choice.