 Yes we are as
confused as you are. There is one very unique quality of Japanese people. They can detach themselves from anything in no time. We know that in the evening they can go out with you,
engage in the wildest (and most intimate) activities with you, and next morning look at you as if nothing happened. At work, they will have a big fight one day with a colleague and then next day behave as if nothing happened. Some of it is explained by 'honne' and 'tatemae' (if you do not know what it is try to read our article on
honne and
tatemae). The other thing to know is that maybe he was expecting something out of you (for example, more physical intimacy) and said that he liked you just to make you feel good and you might be wrong to think that he meant it.
Another possibility - he is not genuinely committed to having a long term relationship with you (or with foreign girls) and when he realized that you were far too serious, he wants to give up right away so that you don't get hurt
- something that Japanese try to avoid at all cost.
It is indeed very frustrating for a lot of non-Japanese to appreciate this sort of behavior since we are so used to more direct communication.
This is what we would suggest because this is what a
Japanese girl would do in your situation. Give another chance to this guy - for example, suggest to him that you would like to do something together (pick something that couples do but do not also make it feel like a serious date,
for instance, hanging out at a mall). If his behavior towards you is still not romantic enough, do not say anything to him and you should simply
consider that it is over and move on.
Recommended links:
Date
with a Japanese man
Romance Guide for Japan Japanese
girlfriend at American university campus
Right approach
to dating Asians
Move
to Japan Secrets
of Japanese women Manage
expectations in interracial romance
How
to get a Japanese girlfriend? Marriages
in Japan Deborah
Kemp's views on romance Seduction
of Japanese women
One
night stand with a Japanese woman
Romance
gone wrong with a Japanese
African
American men and Japanese women Declining
marriage rate in Japan Breaking
up Japanese style Women
dating Asian men Relationships
with Japanese women
Interracial
relationship with a Japanese Meeting
Japanese women Experiences
with Japanese women
Japanese
girlfriend
A
Japanese man finds relationship with an American woman
Healthy
romantic relationship with a Japanese
Japanese boyfriend not responding |
