So if for any reason you do not feel good about you and you have no one else to give you positive feedback, things only get worse. You start believing everything that you feel and imagine about you even though it may not be true. For example, most of us women feel that we do not have perfect bodies, our clothes do not suit us, our hair is messy, we are getting older, our legs are no longer good looking, and on and on. Since single people meet close friends and family members only during weekends and during the holidays, they get more negative or no feedback and very little positive feedback. No wonder so many people continue to believe that they look horrible and need to do something about it.  This phenomenon is so widespread that psychologists call it the "Swiss Cheese Phenomenon." The basic idea of the Swiss Cheese Phenomenon is that positive feedback from others falls through the "holes" in one's body image, like the holes in Swiss cheese. However, negative feedback, no matter how much rarer, manages to stick. That's why it is difficult to develop a different attitude towards your body.  (Related article:  Plastic surgery raises self esteem and improves body image but not if it is a result of other psychological problems)

How to change your body image? 

You might want to think about changing your body image by filling the so-called holes in the Swiss cheese. It will require some effort on your part but it will pay off in the long run. Here is a step-wise program to enable you to help yourself. 

• First, try to make an assessment of the degree of Swiss Cheese phenomenon in your life. 

• Keep track of your responses to feedback about your appearance. 

• Do you tend to accept or resist compliments? 

• Do you tolerate others criticizing you about how you look? 

• Do you challenge critical comments? 

• If you realize that you are stuck in the self-defeating cycle of the Swiss Cheese Phenomenon, make a commitment to change it.

Here are few things that you can do right away without much effort:

• Try to make friends (finding friends might seem difficult until you make an effort) outside of your business contacts. Make an effort to socialize after work during the week, particularly if you are single and live by yourself. Even a quick drink after work with a friend is a great opportunity.

• Do not look only at the bad aspects of your body. Look at the good ones too and feel good about them. 

• Do not compare yourself against others; and definitely not against models and movie stars. 

• Age gracefully. Learn to accept it. Make every effort to stay and look young (read our analysis of anti-aging techniques) but there is no reason to feel depressed because you are old. "Old" is a state of mind and you can change it.  (Related article:  Look younger with Dr Perricone approach)

• Take care of your body, always dress well, wear makeup (yes, even men need to take care of their skin every day), and maintain a positive attitude towards your body (after all it defines who you are).  (Related article:  Style to look younger)

• Say "thank you" after a compliment and give your best smile instead of your natural reaction to deny it. 

• Be around people who support the lifestyle changes you are making, not ones who reinforce your negative body image. If you are trying to lose weight, stay away from people who are not doing anything about it. These people will only discourage it. 

• As you are making a sincere effort to change your reactions, every time you are successful, take note of it so that you can feel good about it.

• Try yoga.  A study published in the Psychology of Women Quarterly found that women who practice yoga have better body image than those who do aerobics.  (Related:  Yoga wear)

• Go under the knife.  Another study says that women who do so feel better about themselves and are happy in their relationships.

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