Lesbian breakup and moving on
Linda has been just dumped by Tracy, her lesbian girlfriend after a seven-year relationship. “Things were great but started to change 2 months ago. We used to be together always. She started to work, have her own friends, and started to have late night drinks with her friends. I felt abandoned and things started to be not working between us. She wanted more space and I was too controlling. I know my faults and weaknesses. I tried to be more open and not so possessive. She came back one night with love bites on her neck. She was really sorry that night; I knew she meant it. She told me the colleague was drunk and not doing it on purpose. From that incident onwards, I became really paranoid. Every time she received a call or text message, I would doubt and question. Things were not improving. She didn’t seem to want things to work out between us. She started to come home late and neglected me. Until one night I couldn’t stand anymore. I broke out. She came back and confessed that she has somebody else. She can’t and won’t leave her because she is just too deeply in love with her. I begged her for not leaving me initially. I decided to break after that because I just couldn’t stand her caring for the other girl so much. We want to be friends, best of friends like we used to be. She doesn’t love me anymore, this is for sure. But I just can’t accept what has happened. I still love her dearly. what can I do? I still can’t believe this is happening to us. We have been together for so many years. Why is she falling so deeply into this girl now and has abandoned me? I will wait for her to come back. I know I’ m stupid but this is how much I love her. I just can’t imagine my life without her. She still cares for me but she told me it’s different kind of love; love for a good friend. She knows what she wants and she has told me clearly she no longer loves me. What should I do? I’m losing my partner and a good friend. Please help,” she writes.
How to move on after you are dumped?
What you have to understand is that your relationship is over. It does not mean anything is wrong with you or this is the end of the world – that is how life is. People fall out of love all the time – that is why there is 50% divorce rate and God knows how high the breakup rate is. You have two choices. Cry over your sad story and make your life miserable or learn from this experience and move on. I am sure that you have beautiful memories of this relationship and you have also learned something from it. So forget the bitterness, the feeling of rejection, and the sense of loneliness; instead, look at all the beautiful time that you had with your lover and move on to give your love to someone else, who hopefully will be with you the rest of your life.
In addition to that, through books and professional help, you must also overcome your jealousy, overly possessive and controlling behavior. Today, your partner is your friend, not your slave. I am sure that one reason she left you is that she must have been feeling suffocated by your behavior. Unless you change this, it is highly unlikely that another woman will tolerate it.
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