Despite overwhelming evidence that a man who may wear panties or occasionally dresses up in feminine lingerie is typically a heterosexual male (more in touch with his feminine side, as they say), many women just don’t get it. Their first reaction is that he is gay (Related: Is my boyfriend gay?) and they immediately label him as a pervert — many women actually either revolt and want him to stop, or even worse, want a divorce. That is what happened to my reader Adam.
He writes, “I have struggled all my adult life with my desire to wear women’s lingerie (I do not consider myself as a crossdresser). I kept this secret for 17 years from the woman who said she loved me. I finally got the nerve to tell her about it and she thought I was gay and promptly divorced me. After a lot of research and reading about other hetero men who have the same desires, I am sure I didn’t handle the subject very well. But now, I have a woman in my life that I was totally upfront and honest with. I was also much more knowledgeable about who I am and what this all means to me. She’s is into it because I have taken great care to express my deep interest in her lingerie and how she dresses and how beautiful she looks. I don’t make it about me, I focus on her, and she in turn focuses on me and that turns me on even more and I don’t think either one of us has ever had a better sex life!”