Padded bras and intimacy with a man
Susan is a 41-year old single woman who has always worn padded bras. “I currently wear a water bra. It makes me look a lot fuller, and since I am slim, I look so attractive. Recently I have met a man, we have gone out on a few dates, but what is going to happen when he decides to touch me or become more intimate. I do not know how to handle this situation. What should I do,” she asks.
You are not alone to have this problem as you can guess from the number of padded bras sold. Here is what you should think about. When a couple has a relationship, each stage is a process of discovery. Typically both individuals make new decisions at each stage – if they want to proceed forward. So if this gentleman is shocked and wants to end the relationship because you have used an enhancer bra while dating him, you know what, he may not be the man for you. In my opinion, if a man evaluates a woman by her bra cup size alone, I am not sure you want to be with this man for too long.
Chances are, however, that it will not turn out this way. Either he might make a small comment on his discovery or simply not say anything. And if his behavior does not change in any way you should even stop thinking about it. Most women wrongly assume that men only like large chested women. Some men do, but most men look at the whole individual. Some even actually like women like you.
The other dimension is that most men are typically prepared for such small surprises. For example, skin without makeup or cellulite or how clean she is or whether she snores. What shocks them are big surprises – for instance, if a woman who claims to be single turns out to be married.
So my recommendation is to not torture yourself over your underwear. Just let him do his thing. I would expect him to be supportive and understanding. Eveyone knows that both men and women use simple “cosmetic” solutions to look better.
If he does mention it, do not panic or defend yourself in any way. You have a right to dress the way you want. If you can put makeup on to hide skin imperfections, you also have a right to wear a padded bra. But you can always stop the conversation by simply saying that you like the fuller look that you get with a padded bra.
Hopefully it will all end there. Some of my previous clients found that their partners told them to be just natural and not even bother with a padded bra.
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