Ron, a young man in his 20s, found that a married woman in his office who is in her early forties was flirting with him. Since he was single and attracted to this beautiful blonde, he was definitely tempted. “I am not serious about her but the way she interacts with me, it puts me in trouble with my colleagues who make disparaging remarks about me. Many a times I have avoided her indirect verbal signals. She must be treating this casually but I felt that she was also playing with my emotions. I would often see her walking to our office from the train station and we walked together but I have since changed my schedule and I come a little early. I don’t know why married women do this when everyone knows their limitations, especially in the office. Please help me sort out this issue and suggest ways to avoid this situation from happening again; I do like my job,” he writes.
What happens is that as women (and men) get married and older, they often feel that they are not as desirable to men as before. While some women learn to live with that new reality, others need validation of their feminine charms. They do that by flirting and even more if the guy resists, as you have been — they enjoy the thrill of chasing men and feeling wanted by several men. Yes, there is a strong possibility that these women want to cheat or have you as a boyfriend, but generally speaking falling in love with a married woman is useless unless all you want is a casual relationship.
The best way to avoid situations like these is to minimize possibility of being alone with these women. The other thing to do is to keep it very professional at all times. If a female colleague goes beyond treating you as a coworker, the best thing to do is to change the topic and excuse yourself as soon as politely possible.