I am in love with my teacher
Cindy writes, “A few years ago, I took a history class with my best friend and when the professor walked in the first day, I looked at my friend and told her how cute I thought he was. Her reaction to my new crush was like everyone else’s: shock or disgust. They were just surprised because he is about 23 years older than me and is very much a professional looking professor and not some young, hip guy. But that’s what I am so attracted to. I don’t have an Electra complex and I’m not seeking attention. I took a break from that school for a few years and now that I am currently back at that school I am taking another class with this professor. This is where I am getting worried: I think about him constantly; all the time. I don’t think he even knows I exist beyond being another nameless face in class. I think about having his baby and I’ve never wanted kids! What’s wrong with me? I know that it is against school code to start a relationship with him but my class is over in about six weeks and I’m wondering if I should make a move. I don’t believe that I can be in love with him because I don’t even know him personally but I have created this whole world in my head where we are a couple. No one really takes this seriously and the people who do, try to avoid talking with me about it in the hope that I will eventually forget about it or something. My mom thinks that this means that I have no self-worth. I feel like Cupid has played a joke on me for making me like this person who is so different than I am. Please, give me any advice that you can.”
Indeed, it is a fascinating situation.
And unlike many other advisers, I like to side with my readers. And that is why I am not going to suggest that you are obsessed with this man or that you are crazy though I am suggesting that you do speak to a professional to better understand what might be causing this — maybe something very important has been missing in your life and this imaginary world allows you to escape from the reality.
I would also suggest that you deal with this head-on. Time will tell what it leads to but you will have no regrets either way. Either this man will become your lover or you will realize that it was just a one-sided crush that should end sooner rather than later.
Attraction to someone older or younger is not unusual. We are often attracted to people much older than us because many of us do not think that age is that important. Or it just so happens that our soulmate is just older.
As you go about your adventure, there are a few things to find out.
- Is he married? I typically do not like the idea of breaking a marriage.
- You should also wait till your classes are over to make a move but these six weeks can be very fruitfully used to do some more research on him and to make sure that you are not just a nameless student but someone who is interested in him. And this is your only chance to do it because right now he is obliged to pay attention to everything a student needs but once you graduate he may not even answer your email. So speak up in the class, ask questions, share your thoughts, stay behind to ask more questions, ask if you can stop by at another time to go over a topic with him or get his thoughts on a new chapter you have read, etc.
- By doing all of this, you will learn more about him. Who knows he doesn’t smell right and you will hate him for that! You know what I mean. Alternately, he might see the attraction that you have for him and for all we know your dream of a beautiful relationship with him come true. See this teacher loves her student.
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