How can I be more active in bed?
Monique, a 23-year old girl writes, “When we are engaging in sexual activity, my boyfriend seems to be the one who does all the work. He tries to pull me on top of him but I resist. I feel that I want to try new things but I’m afraid that I’m going to make a fool out of myself! I have many ideas on what I would like in bed and I want to try but since I am making love for the first time in a relationship, I may be still shy in expressing my wishes. What should I do?”
It is OK if he does all the work as long as he is not complaining. Many men like to be in control, and selfish as it is, often are more concerned about their satisfaction than an orgasm for the woman.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you going on top either — it is a popular position among many men (I like it too because it delays orgasm for men, and thus, women can get more pleasure). So just follow his lead.
Having said that, many men do not like passive women in bed or may soon get tired of them. They want them to be active partners, come up with new ideas, and take initiative. So it seems that you already have ideas and all you need to do is to present them to him. They key to not suggesting something that is beyond his comfort zone but to suggest a small change in what you have already been doing rather than something that he has never done or even mentioned. For instance, you could suggest role play if he already appreciates you in lingerie, or try to make love in a different room rather than just the bedroom, but I think you should wait to tell him all your wild fantasies for the time being.
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
Comments
No comments yet.
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.