Martha has had some issues finding the right man for a serious relationship. She seems to run into losers most of the time who want to have a good time with her and then move on. She has learned her lessons and wants to try again.
She writes, “I am about to go again on a first date after I broke up with my last boyfriend. Right now I am scared of how things are going to work out because I lack that emotional balance that allows me to date and confidently say no to physical intimacy right away because I also want to indicate that I am serious about dating. I don’t want to sound unreasonable or stupid — I just want them to know that I am not ready.”
Since you are ready for a permanent, serious relationship it is always a good idea to let the man know before the first date and then emphasize it during the date itself. This makes sure that if the guy is looking for a casual relationship, he will not want to date you.
Having said that, finding a serious relationship is about trying and you have to go on many dates before you will find someone that really turns out to be a good man. Therefore, it is simply a terrible idea to sleep with anyone on the first date anyway. Generally, I suggest that you wait for at least 4-5 good dates before doing it, though it might be OK for the first kiss on second or third date if you really like the guy and everything else is going well. You can always tell him that you want to know him better before getting into bed. That will take a lot of pressure off you.
Plus, if the guy wants bedroom action right away, you will know he does not want a long-term relationship. A good man will always respect the opinion of a girl and if he is also serious about her he will be happy to wait.
So be strong and firm and everything should work out great.