I am in love with 2 girls
Andy, a married man, writes, “I think I am in love with two of my colleagues. I have been chatting and flirting with my coworkers them for years and without realizing it I have simply fallen in love with them, though, I don’t think they know the depth of my emotions for them. Both these married women are great but I am so confused and wonder about the injustice to the spouse(s) and the sins that I might be committing. Recently I shared my feelings with one of them and she did not respond with any answer. Please help.”
I don’t like to comment on religious dimension (whether something is a sin, for example) of extramarital affairs since it depends on your faith and personal values, but obviously, when you do not love your spouse and love someone else it is a problem, though it is often complicated — what if your spouse doesn’t love you either or does not give you what you need or is not romantic or is incapable of bonding with you on an emotional level? Would this relationship be ethical and morally right?
Regarding your declaration of your feelings, I think she likes you but like any married woman she realizes the limitations — you are married too and she knows that other than a chat once in a while, nothing much can come out of it. She might even choose to kill her feelings than try to change anything.
We cannot control who we fall in love with but we can control what we do with our emotions. So, it may also be a good time to evaluate your marriage. If you are not getting the love you want from your wife, it is a good idea to consider divorce or at least have a frank discussion with your wife to improve your relationship. She is your wife and it will be much easier to get what you want from her than to try getting it from other women.
In conclusion, men with multiple partners often get into more trouble and do not get the love of either of the girls. Having multiple partners is expensive, time-consuming, unmanageable, and tough on emotions.
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