How to approach a Japanese man for a romantic relationship?
Teresa is a college student studying Japanese at an American university. And as many American campuses have Japanese students, it is common for them to act as conversation partners. Many of them are trying to improve their English language skills as well. But what if you fall in love with your cute Japanese “teacher?”
That is exactly what is happening to Teresa. “I really like him but I’m not sure how he feels about me. I have never asked him because I am too shy. I know that Japanese (especially guys) tend to keep their feelings to themselvess. Is there any way to tell how he feels without just coming out and asking him? I really want to get this right so that our conversation partner relationship (that is important for both of us) will not get destroyed. Please help,” she writes.
Indeed, in Japan, developing a liking for your conversation partner is very common. Many instances of interracial dating in Japan started while exchanging language lessons – some of them even result in interracial marriages. So this gentleman may be open to the idea of dating a woman of another race. You are right about Japanese guys and another point is that Japanese people do not like “direct” conversastions. Hints are much better than saying “Hey, I have something to say. I think I like you. I wonder how you feel about me?” So absolutely don’t ask directly as you seem to have written above.
So what can Teresa do?
My advice would be twofold:
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Use your body language to hint that you do not think of him just as a language partner. Instances of Japanese men being dated by non-Japanese women is growing.
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You may also want to suggest an activity that is beyond language exchange to reinforce your message. For instance, if you guys generally meet in the library or cafeteria now, it might be a good idea to suggest a meal at a Japanese restaurant (“I would love to explore Japanese cuisine with you, etc.”). Japanese men can be incredibly shy, especially in front of non-Japanese women. Many men cannot even believe that a non-Japanese woman will actually be attracted to them. So you can be somewhat more aggressive and take the lead here. For instance, it would be just fine for you to flirt with him at the restaurant and clearly communicate to him that you are also interested romantically in him.
Useful resources:
How to find a Japanese husband? – Relationship with Japanese boyfriend – How to find Japanese boyfriend? – Dating techniques for Japanese – Guide to dating in Japan – How to romance the Japanese? – Success of interracial relationships – Interracial couples – African American and Japanese relationship – Korean Japanese relationship – Fling with a Japanese woman
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