Alex writes, “Within the next year or two I will be traveling to Japan through a study abroad program for studio arts, which is going to last a year. Ever since I was a little girl, I have always wanted to do so. I love Japan as well as Japanese men. I am wondering how I would go about dating. I have always wanted to date a Japanese guy, but being a somewhat large and tall American woman, I am unsure if I will find a man. Also, will I really be thought of as weird? My other classmates who went over there were treated like outcasts and shunned in severe fashion. Is that normal?
I am glad that you are going to Japan and like Japanese guys. Regarding discrimination in Japan, it is important to understand that it is not universal (look at the photo on this page of these Japanese dudes delighted to be with Americans). Yes, there are instances, where a foreigner will simply not be able to be accepted, but those who make a sincere effort to understand the culture and learn the language do very well. The ones who feel discriminated are that expect Japanese to change for them or look down upon them or simply do not even make an effort to understand a culture that the Japanese are so proud of.
Well, obviously, dating someone of our own type is hard enough, imagine dating someone so different? But not impossible. I think you will make mistakes or be rejected by others but in the end as you learn the language and the culture you will get better at it.
As you read, jot down your more specific questions and then shoot them to me. I will be happy to answer those — I just do not want to repeat what is already available on the website.