Carlos is university student and likes one of his classmates. “Now we somehow always sit together, we take the same bus home, and we end up talking a lot. When she’s sitting beside me, she always keeps playing with her hair, sometimes acts a bit nervous, and I noticed that she is putting on more makeup and dressing up nicer ever since this has been going on. I asked Pierre Coda for advice and was going to ask her out but before I could even say it, I got the bad news. She has a boyfriend, but she basically told me that they don’t share many interests, he doesn’t like many things she likes, and she doesn’t like his hobbies either. Now I just listened and didn’t comment on anything and pretended not to mind that she has a boyfriend already (maybe her guard won’t go up that way, if there is one). Now to my own shock, I am absolutely crazy about her. I had a whole plan worked out, and it’s all for nothing, and I really want her now. Should she know how I feel? Should I pretend I don’t mind she has a boyfriend and work my way into maybe getting her. I really don’t know what to do. I am going try to be calm, act like nothing happened, keep on flirting and I’ll see how it goes, or maybe you have a better idea,” he asks.
I think that she is sending you all the right signals to make a move. However, the fact that she mentioned her boyfriend can mean two things. One, she likes you and wants to continue this, but is communicating to you that she is in a relationship and you should get all ideas about anything romantic out of your mind. Two, she is being truthful and is just ready to get out of that relationship if you do all the right things.
You must stick to your original plan and ask her out on a date. You can always start off by saying that you know she has a boyfriend but you are interested in her and would love to date her. I am suggesting this more direct approach so that in case she is totally opposed to the idea of dating you, you won’t waste any more time on her (there are lots of wonderful single women out there). On the other hand, if she has doubts about her current relationship, she will appreciate that you are not just a “nice” classmate, but someone who is seriously interested in her.
If she does go out on a date with you, take it slow, since she is already in a relationship. Don’t rush anything yet, make her feel special, and let her make the decision to dump her boyfriend who doesn’t seem to care about her.
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