William writes, “I am a heterosexual, 52 year old male and I love to wear panties. I like the French-cut or hi-cut styles, with colors, and lace also. I wear them secretly, and have done so all my life. I am married and finally built up the nerve to expose my fetish/desire to my wife about a year ago and she wants no part of it! Well, what can I do, go back to secretly wearing them? I love the feel and comfort, and yes, it is erotic as well. It actually makes our sex life very exciting, but she does not appreciate my fetish.”
You are not alone in sending me an email like this. Many men in your situation have told me that their wives completely freak out; one guy even ended up with a divorce because his wife thought he was a pervert or gay or just not for her.
Having said that, many women do warm up to the idea if one starts off slowly rather than just saying right away (in which case they start to think that you are probably gay, a thought more scaring to women than if you were a murderer or terrorist). Some men have had success when they put her panties on as something playful while having sex or something that made them bond with their wife better or they are out of clean underwear. See if you can come up with something clever like this and let her realize that you are not gay or bisexual; you just enjoy them for their fabric and design choices.