How to get help online for free?


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As I run this website with thousands of daily readers, I hear from a lot of my fans, and to the best of my abilities I try to respond to them. Here is an email that I wrote to one of my fans and I think parts of it are interesting for everyone to read so that when you write to me, you know the context and what to expect.

Problems of the mind are like the tip of the iceberg. What we can tell someone in an email or a brief conversation is like the tip: the part you see. Like an iceberg, 90% of it we don’t see. Why? Because we don’t even know it exists. That is why it is so important to go back and take a look at the ‘complete you’. Literally from day one when you were born…. well…I mean from the day you remember. We are what we are today based on who we were from day one.

I have a sense that you have never or at least not in recent time had someone you can pour your heart out without fear of being judged. It happens to all of us. When we sit in front of anyone: family, loved one, friends, and colleagues…we are always being judged. It is human nature to judge others on what they wear, how they walk or talk or look or behave, or on the basis of what they tell you. If someone tells you that he robbed a bank you will immediately judge him to be a thief and would try to stay away from that person. So there are times when you need someone who will not judge you like that. Some pastors/priests are good but most of them make judgments too: you have sinned and you are a sinner.

With me that is not the case. I am your counselor and my job is not to judge you. What my job is to provide you with a person who can listen to you no matter how embarrassing your story is or how strange your habits are or how wild your fantasies are. Then my job is to help you get better. If something is unrealistic my goal is to help you understand that and then set a more achievable goal. You come back to me when you have a problem and I help you solve it.

I know you have seen some of it already because you have already felt the power of communicating with someone who is not judging you.

What I like you to do is to start telling me anything that will help you get it off your chest. I feel that there are so many things in your heart that you have never said, just kept thinking about it. Just didn’t find someone who would listen. As I said before, trust me, you will feel so much better even after the first one.

So start writing it down. I might ask questions, give you some feedback, but that is pretty much what I will do in the beginning. Your first few times are for detoxification. Get all the negative stuff out first.

Does it make sense? Would you like to do it? Do you have any questions that you would like to ask? Let me know. Just shoot me an email here.

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