How to help my husband deal with sex addiction?
Juliana writes, “I have been with my husband 16 years and in every year we have been together I have found out that he was always doing something unacceptable, whether it is phone sex, searching for prostitutes, reading extremely dirty magazines, and a few years ago he even met a girl after hooking up with her on the web. Once I caught him, I forced him to break up with her while I was present. At that time, I nearly left him and it took 2 years to build the trust up again. He said he would never do anything and he swore on the kids’ lives he would be the perfect husband. Not much has changed though since then. He is still surfing the web looking for sex partners and is too stupid to hide his tracks so I can always find out what websites he has visited. So I guess I have stayed long enough. I have 2 beautiful children age 9 and 13 who don’t deserve this but I think I have given him more than enough years of my time and patience! What do you think?”
I am shocked that this marriage has lasted so long. Maybe you just stayed for the sake of the kids. My hypothesis is that your husband is addicted to sex and making scenes about it or embarrassing him is not going to do anything.
On the contrary, he will simply continue to do what he wants but become even more careful and secretive. If you want to stay with him for whatever reason, he needs professional help, not ridicule or criticism. He is a sick man and is ailment cannot be cured like this or by itself. He may not even realize what he is doing and how destructive this behavior is to his family. You will need years of patience with him as he recovers from addiction.
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